MadHatterMommy @madhattermommy.bsky.social



https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:jiqppb3vymtquebk2yatb4mw/feed/aaapa2uougycq

Me: I’m bored
My refrigerator: here she comes
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My friends order so slow that the waiter brings in the lunch menu when we enter for breakfast.
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The only place where XL is less than L is in Roman numerals.
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Reposted by MadHatterMommy
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Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social
29d
don’t ask if my computer is backed up it’s none of your bitness
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Them: I hope this email finds you in the best of spirits

Me: (glancing at the bottle of Sauvignon Blanc near me) yep!
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If we are fools we should at least be aware of it.
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The urge to confide in anyone that shows an ounce of kindness....
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Reposted by MadHatterMommy
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S🌟tella @havishaf.bsky.social
1mo
Choose a word. Think of it. Keep it to yourself, noone cares.
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All I know about parenting is that no one knows anything about it.
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My kid: see mom I made an awesome paper rocket

Me: yeah? wait, is that paper YOUR HOMEWORK????

My kid: you never focus on the positive
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Who called it swearing and not cursive talking?
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*takes off reading glasses to read*
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Can't, thinking outside the box
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Reposted by MadHatterMommy
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Marl @marlebean.bsky.social
1mo
The biggest lesson I've learned from trying winter sports is that I am incredibly out of shape.
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Marl @marlebean.bsky.social
1mo
Watching videos of dryer vents being cleaned out is my therapy
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Reposted by MadHatterMommy
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Marl @marlebean.bsky.social
1mo
Text your husband "I know your secret" and he'll bring you so many presents!
You don't even need to know what the secret is!
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Unkindness is a major turn off.
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Your real smile is more fake than AI.
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I can only be as interesting as you are interested.
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Pre-lunch and post-lunch versions of a person are two different people.
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When in doubt, wear a perfume.
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“I’m not going to get in your way!”, said she like a threat.
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“Let’s both of us compromise and do as I said.”
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There’s people at party and…

then there’s me: oh look snacks!!!!
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People who don’t like my jokes, who hurt you?
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Is it even a mould if everyone can fit in?
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Social skills sounds like a lot of work.
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*Wears glasses to hear*
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How did we end up here?
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Reposted by MadHatterMommy
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Steven (with a PH) @sjksalisbury.bsky.social
1mo
I will never use AI to produce images. I get my art the old fashioned way, by describing my "assailant" to a police sketch artist until they draw me a picture of busty John Slattery.
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Half the problems would be solved if we knew who to ignore and who to not ignore.
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