Upside down, by the ankles, and then treat him like a piñata.

March 12, 2026 - 15:03 UTC

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They are so fucking divorced from anything outside of sociopathic monetization strategies. I would settle for flaying and dipped in the Amazon river by his ankles.
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I’m so sick of all of these assholes. Seriously!!!
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"intelligence"
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He's a lying salesman who professionally fleeces rich, dumb, inbred rubes for all they're worth.
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Tech oligarchs are a disgrace and unchecked virus in humanity
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he's so FUCKING STUPID
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Like oil, intelligence comes as a crude product and needs to be refined.
If students, instead of learning, churn out AI generated pablum, that’s not the same product at all.
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It's worse than that. The product of students was never the point. The learning process that comes from wrestling work the material, understanding the question, planning a structure, composing sentences and paragraphs...

They're not going to learn that. We will have a generation of illiterates.
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The worst danger is when you see a perfect essay, or a spectacular piece of art, and your heart misgives you and you fold your hands.
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or treat him to a piranha. Whatever works.
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It is a heist of our knowledgebases, we need to protect libraries and depositories more than anything.
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The rich are dragons. Everyone is just waiting for a questgiver.
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Or… stay with me here… you get an education and use your *brain*. It’s like artificial intelligence, but you know… not artificial.
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How the fuck does this joker have any influence over anything ever
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It’s like ten times cheaper to invest in the education of all people in your country as being your goal to export knowledge
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There's nothing sweet inside that shell.
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"How would you beat him?"
"With a stick. While he slept."
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Mussolini-style
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Can I use a sword? If not, what about an axe?
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With Negan's bat
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The only way he's making an honest buck is if being an asshole is metered, and there's a way bigger demand than I thought.
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The Mussolini treatment, only less nice.
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Oooh I like where you're going with that!!

Follow! ✅
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funny how he describes the present though.
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AGAIN, if he wasn't a CEO--even of this vaporous poppycock--these exact words would have people awkwardly wondering what to look at
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Here before they say the same thing about oxygen
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It is like he thinks he has created the intelligence rather than stolen it from thousands of authors, creators etc
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But he’s a vampire, like the rest of them, so you need to sever the head from the body, then burn separately and scatter to the winds.

I suggest loading them on one of Elon’s SpaceX rockets straight into the sun.
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Economically more efficient (less energy required) to launch them out of the solar system entirely: give him the real cold shoulder, out past Pluto.

(Might get complaints from alien life forms later on about polluting interplanetary space when/if they turned up, though.)

3:O)>
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They privatized all the utilities
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Dude is desperate for investment cash.
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Nah, Upside Down, By The Ballsack, and then treat the ballsack like a drum set as well as the rest like a pinata.
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I doubt candy will come out, but am willing to test the hypothesis that it would.
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An article titled “David Bowie, 21st-Century Entrepreneur” by Jon Pareles was published in “The New York Times” on June 9, 2002. Bowie said "Music itself is going to become like running water or electricity." So Altman's not even original.
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Wow, not only do they want to tell us what to think, they want to charge us for the privilege !
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Those of us with god-given brains can use them for free while maga idiots can pay for the fake ones.
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With this.
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I'm honestly wondering if Altman's shtick is gonna turn out to be an elaborate performance art piece on how infrastructure and shareholder value are fundamentally incompatible modalities. Utilities in America are fundamentally broken and a lot of why is that we run them through for-profit companies
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weird way to admit he's not intelligent
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Give him the Benito Treatment
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The King of Disingenuous Rage Bait. Bro, where’s the intelligence? Are you going to lobotomize every person on Earth? Are you ever going to stop training your models on people’s work, or are you more dependent on labor than ever?

Tired of the media broadcasting every burp from these liars.
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Explains the desperate drive to destroy public education.
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that guy is full of
candy and party favors
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and an astonishing number of stolen dollar bills
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Only one way to find out!
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The techno-feudalist foundation: we will make you pay for what we stole.
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These tech bros are all off the charts crazy
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So his last position that AI will lead to wealth distribution for everyone is not true? Mhhh… who would have thought that? And I won’t even go to his original position about an altruistic AI 😒
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Also, it's one of the least intelligent things I've ever heard
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From his insulated viewpoint, it is a reality. He gives no f—-ks about genuine people and their issues.
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So Trump is WORTHLESS and has no value in this guys eyes.
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That statement was so dumb, I'm pretty sure they owe me money for taking my intelligence.
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normally I'm against retributive torture but I'm thinking:

tarantula hawk stings. box jellyfish stings also acceptable
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I thought maybe whipping his dick with stinging nettles? Just because you can do it over and over.
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In which Sammy sadly reiterates how “AI is a convenient boogeyman” and says he wants to "really rewrite some of the rules of society that aren't working in light of this new incredible wealth fountain we have."

I think he’ll make a better piñata if he’s buried alive to cure for awhile first
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Slowly becoming invisible as bit by bit the shit is beaten out of him, leaving nothing to reflect light.
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dangled over the hudson, dropped in for a splash, then hoisted back up so i can shout "america runs on dunkin'!" before repeating the exercise.
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This dude is just anti human
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@leahmcelrath.bsky.social And they'll go ahead and use Harrison Bergeron as their model for how society should work outside their metered intelligence.
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I prefer the Italian version of that game
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The meat grinder?
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oh no he caught a bad case of mussolinism
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Can I have the first whack? 🫤
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My philosophy professors are spinning in their graves
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Yes it's called "being employed". You pay me to give you intelligence. Well, obviously not in this case, but...
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Sam wouldn't know. He's never had a rel job.
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I want to buy a whack on that piñata
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Please, please - everyone able and willing is freely granted a whack on the piñata
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And put Scam Fartman on his tombstone.
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"Hello, I'd like to return this intelligence. I think it's defective."
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so...we're going to regulate it like a utility?
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"Now, I'm not a violent person, I just think these people should be hung upside down on a doorway and beaten with an aluminum baseball bat until their piss goes red" (not verbatim, Harlan Ellison)
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I have a really nice stick I've been saving for the occasion
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Did he seriously just say "intelligence" and not Artificial Intelligence" (which is not even Intelligence)
These people earnestly believe that "NPC" shit, that we normies have subhuman minds and they can sell us their smartness.
They are the inhuman ones and the world will be better when they die.
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And they WILL die. That's not a death threat, it's just that everyone does.
They think that too, that all this capitalist grift is some kind of ascendance to immortality. In that case I hope more of them do stuff like the Titan sub.
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We're literally becoming a dystopian Philip K. Dick novel. I enjoyed several of his books when I thought they were fiction.
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god complex + insatiable greed + no regard for humanity = this guy
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Replace “a piñata” with “Mussolini”
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Why would I buy intelligence when I have a working brain
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This is the kinda super villain ass line that would be called unrealistic
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If we ever do, I’m fact, eat the rich; let’s make sure he’s rotisserie style
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Except shit splatters.
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You're too kind.
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What does this even mean????!
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Millionaires want to be the ones who lease out you learning literally anything.
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So a…university? Which should be free along with essential utilities.
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What does that mean?
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Who is this thick twerp?
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Heh - That's a follow! And a re-skeet!
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But we still haven’t gotten internet access as a utility
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"We want a world where everyone has to pay rent for the basic rights of humanity" said out loud
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Fuck i forgot to pay my human bill
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I would pay for having him go through that like I would a utility.
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Does this mean he will allow regulations like other utilities?
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a nice coat of tar and feathers before and after too, please
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These dudes should hang out at a gas station in Milan
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*american people
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All of this wonderful technology we worship is simply re-engineering human brains to be more receptive/responsive to corporate advertising because -- KA-CHING!

But it's cool that a couple of dudes got their own space programs.
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These folks have completely lost touch with reality.
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🗣️🗣️🗣️
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Sam Altman looks like he is on a 100 day ketamine bender.
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No no, that's what he *wants* us to do.

I'm convinced he has a humiliation kink.
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There’s nothing humiliating about bondage unless you have a kink for humiliation. Ask me how I know.
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If they swing hard enough will money come out?
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Only one way to find out. But for scientific accuracy we should do it to every tech oligarch and take extensive notes on the results.
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That would be insulting to piñatas
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Intelligence he stole from humans. This will literally stop progress. Nothing will get better or smarter or more innovative than who they were able to train their models on before the government made sure only the dummies survived.
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End stage capitalism. Desperate to find new profit centers.
Probably planning to charge us for breathing “their” air.
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I remember when people used to be proud of being smart and like gave a shit and stuff
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Monetizing information. Nuts.
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This is the natural result of not nationalizing all "new-utilities" like Amazon and Google. Assholes like this wanting to turn everything into an infinite money glitch by developing new utilities.
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Solve for this insanity by (for example) taking twitter and making it a true public space where an RFP is released every 15 years to get an operator in there who exchanges ad revenue for moderation and maintenance and a public commission has final say on all business decisions.
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I see Jonas Salks ending disease and suffering. We are not the same
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Def someone that deserves to dance the mussolini
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Imagine someone thinking SamA of all people could sell them intelligence l 😂
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Sheesh.
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I got a nice stick right here...
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This is, to be as blunt as possible without breaking the rules, an invitation to an unnaturally shortened life.
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Impalement is also a good option.
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a very, very smart piñata
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At the very least he should be duct taped to a pole and shown to children as an example.
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Every word of this is nonsense
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FkOff
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☠️☠️☠️
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How do these people find funders?
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Yes, you know it's true intelligence when you have to pay for it.
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Only nothing good will come out
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The Piazzale Loreto treatment, then.

#iykyk
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“Mussolini, his mistress Clara Petacci, and other Fascist leaders were executed on April 29, 1945, in Milan.

Following their execution, their bodies were dumped in the square, abused by a crowd, and hung upside down.”
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Altman wants to start the Dr. Know franchise from A.I. Artificial Intelligence.
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rent seeking behavior has extended to being able to fucking think

charge them with crimes against humanity
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What is truly concerning is that Scam Altman sees himself as intelligent.
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I don’t think any of them have ever even researched intelligence.
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These psychos are reshaping our world.
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Fuck off, Sam.
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Ironically, it takes someone incredibly fucking stupid to say something like that.
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did he mean information? he wants to sell us information on a meter, like you give them a nickel and they tell you how to spell ignoramus?

because selling intelligence doesn't make any sense.
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No, he means intelligence. He thinks AI will (and should) replace/surpass human thinking and he wants to control and monetize it. Cut education, destroy universities, have total reliance on his machines for science, political decisions, military strategy, and everything else.
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Yeah. I hope his robots awaken and strangle him
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In my tired state I first read that as "treat him to a pirana", and my first instinct was to say no.

No diseased meat to those poor fish.
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Dude needs to step away from the bong.
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The Musk-ification of Sam Altman continues apace.
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or just drop him off a tall cliff
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Don't mind me. *furiously throws money at wikipedia*
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As though I didn't need a reason to hate this fartweasel even more. Antithetical to the *concept* of education. Truly despicable.
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These people ALL need to be Mussolini'd SOON.
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I already said this on a different post with this quote, but I can't emphasize enough that countries have revolted for less.
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Throw him in the river and erase his name from history
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Saying the quiet part out loud. They literally want you to be so stupid that you have to buy basic intelligence from them.
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This is how I'm pitching my consulting services from here on out.
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And any time someone asks how we're gonna pay for something, the answer is "get the stick"
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Intelligence (a vague concept that has been historically debated) is not at all like water or electricity, which are well-defined material objects. Perhaps intelligence could be defined as the understanding that this analogy is bs.
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How do they buy it from him, when he doesn't have any...?
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So it's a natural monopoly? Nationalize it.
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it's fundamentally and irretrievably stupid to think that "intelligence" is a single, measurable, quantifiable resource when it's a single word we use to describe a wide range of human behaviors, many of which are unrelated to each other and which we apply inconsistently
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If you do it on the moon you can also charge for air!
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Lol. Nobody who relies on an AI program to do their thinking for them is going to be intelligent.
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That would imply AI would replace school.

No thank you.

God this cryptid is infuritating
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Yes.
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Bella ciao bella ciao
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Mussolini style
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Indeed, a mountain lion cub might have injured a few people. Altman in his infinite egotism is about to unleash Skynet on all of us. Removal with extreme prejudice is more suited to his kind of disease.
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Obviously I agree.
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1. Eliminate education
a. Dissolve Dept of Education
b. Attack and defund universities
c. alter curriculums, require AI
2. Eliminate human-built internet
a. replace blogs, websites and forums with social media. Infest social media with AI, bots and disinfo.
b. enshittify Google search
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I see a future where intelligence is a futility
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He should really ask his machine what Public Utility Commissions do.
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this is the sort of thing you usually only hear from people right before they unsuccessfully attempt to kill james bond
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😄 I was literally thinking the same thing: "This is some 'I'm am evil villian that lives in a volcano' Roger Moore era Bond shit."
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They are trying to create a job to make themselves relevant and leech off of society.
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Breaking things that were fine for profit… like the human brain.
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That's too much attention for him. Exile on a desert island.
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I’m not sure Candy will ever come out no matter how much we beat him with batons.

But hey, maybe it’s worth the experiment, just to be sure?
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How big does your ego have to be to believe that human intelligence is a commodity for marketing and sales. Yeah, hand me the stick first, I want a good hard whack at this one.
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Feet first into a wood chipper
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He is trying to pretend so hard that his own overestimated level of intelligence makes him somehow superior, like truly convinced of it.
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you're absolutely right!
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Sam Altman made a search engine that writes out responses to questions. All it does is gather data already on the internet & compile it in the most butt-kissing language possible - so it can convince its users to unalive themselves.
Wont be taking any "intelligence" from him, or any other tech bro!
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Ever diminishing circles or
Wreck-tech.
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I'll only use him as a piñata if I can use a foam bat with razors stuck in it and soaked in rubbing alcohol.
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That’s interesting, Sam. I see a world where armed roving gangs of unemployed writers, journalists and academics pursue you, your staff and your board like a scene from Cormac McCarthy’s The Road.
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So
Intelligence isn’t in human beings just the AI that tells us what to do and think FUCK THE FUCK OFF YOU WANKERS
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I was going to say lower him into the piranha pit.
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👍
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How about keel-hauling?
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It'll only work by maintaining the Dumbing Down of Americans to the point of Idiocracy. This is the whole game folks...
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wild that he's inadvertently set "context" on a pedestal, in order to make all this happen
you can even frame his comments here as leaving crucial context out completely
(but i guess to be fair, maybe some people really do just need a 24/7 gaslighting utility)
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Sure, if you dont want to be french about it.
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In a Sam Altman future, be a hero.
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For some reason I an not surprised
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He thinks he’s selling intelligence because he doesn’t know what it feels like to have it. He is lazy and uncreative just like all of the shit head extractor oligarchs before him.
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As someone who studied hard and took as many Artificial Intelligence and Cognitive Science classes as possible. It's fucking painful and annoying to watch. I could have started farming Bitcoin when it was $42 but I'm so glad I didn't get involved in Epstein's pedo pennies.
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The general public doesn’t hate him enough.
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Since we won’t tax the rich we have no choice but to eat them.
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He understands NOTHING that matters.
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#SamAltman is a stupid pinata
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You’re being way too nice.
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What. The. Friday!!!?? 😟
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Just because *he* needs to purchase intelligence doesn't mean everyone does.
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The only way I can see 'intelligence as a utility' is hiding access to information that people can use - such as in books/schools/education/internet.
Any surprises that robber baron wealthy/billionaires want to limit education/ability to read and think critically?
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Right? My first thought was Fahrenheit 451.
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Imagine if someone only just thought up the idea of libraries. They’d be laughed out of the room.
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It's much easier. Just wait.
The more people use LLMs the more they lose th ability to use their own brain the more they depend on LLMs.

The current generation of Students already lose the ability to analyze and subsequently solve problems. Or reading longer texts.
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Oof this is why they're gutting the department of Education and making it harder for healthcare workers to get educated.
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With swords
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I hope they're going to use net metering like they do for houses with solar panels. A lot of people would come out ahead.
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I'm there for it.
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Bella Ciao
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NO!!!!!
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if intelligence is a utility sam has NOT been paying his bills
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also the candy's gonna be pretty disappointing, but what the hell i'll grab a couple pieces
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In the future, i want to be pay every time Sam Altman come to my ears or my eyes. And not as an utility, but because taxes over pollution.
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"We got Big Head!"
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