i'm sorry but the moon is a complete boondoggle that should never have been put up there in the first place. we still have to send repair missions up there a hundred-plus years later all because taft was trailing in the polls and decided to learn magick. i don't know why he thought it would help him

April 01, 2026 - 19:39 UTC

44
16
2668
I KNEW IT!
0
0
0
His viziers lied to him about it being a big pizza pie.
0
0
0
1
0
4
CLASSIC.
0
0
0
Taft ?
1
0
0
Babies can't even smoke cigars now thanks to woke smh
1
0
2
Plus the more stuff we put on the moon the heavier it gets. Eventually it will fall out of the sky and crush everyone.
0
0
1
I still blame the surfers lobby for that. All that work just for big waves!
i never went to the beach, how that will help me!?
0
0
5
I read this Vertigo comic in 1996 and was disappointed that it got cancelled a dozen issues in.
0
0
5
Do you WANT Jemisin Seasons?

Because that's how you get Jemisin Seasons
0
0
0
Is Al Gore a fucking joke to you?
0
0
4
They need to get that Luna Strait open to lower the price of cheese. The price of gorgonzola is outRAGEous!
0
0
0
I thought Piccolo destroyed the moon?
0
0
0
I remember the time Chairface Chippendale tried to laser-engrave his name into the thing just to give it some character and some idiot in a blue costume stopped him.

Let him finish the job, I say.
0
0
0
Harding put Saturn up there
1
0
0
Saturn has class!
0
0
1
That's because he wanted to take a bath on the moon, but he failed. It wouldn't be until Clinton that presidents would be able to bathe on the moon.
0
0
0
Those votes from the werewolf caucus were a real boon (Moon) to his electoral victory.
0
0
1
Going to pass that blunt or just hog it all night?
0
0
0
I dunno, I like the way it looks in the sky. Kind of can't imagine the night without it now that it's there.
0
0
0
It’s been hitting people in the eye like a bit pizza pie since. No good!
0
0
0
I love this so much! 😂
0
0
0
I’ve been posting about that for months now. It’s a fraud that we will occupy the Moon. The U.S. can’t sustain a base there while operating under a regime that doesn’t do science or reality.
0
0
0
The introduction of tides was a death knell to the whaling industry! 🧐
0
0
1
1
0
48
Came in the replies to make sure someone posted this 🤣
0
0
5
You forgot to thank us for our attention to this matter.
0
0
0
A classic wizards failed apprentice move
1
0
0
1
0
1
Left Hand Path Taft, they called him
0
0
2
Moondoggle
1
0
69
this is very good.
1
0
7
Big Moon is comin’ for you now, Jon.
0
0
0
ohh I get it. you're talking about something that's actually true because it's April Fools Day. that's pretty funny
0
0
2
That one's my fault. I was tired of Van Buren's ghost making all my beer go off, so I sent Taft a few pointers hoping he might take care of the problem for me.

Instead, here we are. Still can't get rid of Van Buren, either. Now he's in the mic cables coughing all the time and ruining my videos.
0
0
5
A real humdinger of a scheme
0
0
1
0
0
0
I like the implication here that the main reason we are on the moon and going to the moon is that william howard taft accidentally teleported up there
0
0
0
at least the parking is good
0
0
0
It was his advisors. By then he was 550 pounds. They only way they could get him to stop eating cheese was to tell him they needed all the cheese to make the moon.
2
0
83
Is your April Fool just punking us with the "three-spaces-after-the-period?"
1
0
19
I read they had to install a larger witching circle at the White House because he was too big for the old one
0
0
2
There are two o's in both "moon" and "Trilateral Comission".

Coincidence?

Yes. (They got to me.)
0
0
2
glorp does not appreciate this cultural appropriation from the Zarbok language. please Removed this post for using the Language Unit boondoggle
0
0
0
Trump completely rebuilt the moon in his first term. The moon was DEAD. Now it's the hottest moon in the world.
0
0
1
Now I gotta have my house on stilts all because he needed to distract people from how he got his ass stuck in a tub
0
0
0
If only the US govt had continued investing in Barbicane’s Columbiad space gun, moon missions could have improved on the original 97-hour trip and been an easy jaunt by now.
0
0
0
This old ass is a total goober ;p I cannot believe :0
0
0
1
“The moon will pay for itself.”
0
0
13
We Should Have Listened When We Had the Chance
0
0
1
I would support the moon if it was more useful. But the sun tells us the time, the stars help us navigate and clouds tell us the weather. Moon is a garbage tier sky thing.
0
0
1
I'd love to see the movie version of that.
0
0
0