Sarcastic Cat @sarcastic-cat.bsky.social

Yeah....

After Melania's brave and totally truthful speech, it is now time for me to also clear the air

I did never be friends with chocolate
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Despite attempts to smear my reputation

I never been friends with cheesecake
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Ah yes, the shortages of non-renewable energy is caused by

* checks notes *

Renewable energy.

Well done Liam. Excellent reporting. Amazing lateral thinking there!

Idiot.

7news.com.au/news/what-are-you-afraid-of-7news-spotlight-journalist-liam-bartlett-clashes-with-energy-minister-chris-bowen-c-22109784 #auspol
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The deadline's deadline is approaching its deadline!

Art of the d̶e̶a̶l̶ doofus

#auspol
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Trump's deadline extended for 48 hours. What next, yet another 48 hours?
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Victorians love to see how the media get it so wrong, even at The Age.

It wasn't a "modest" budget surplus, it was the biggest surplus Victoria had ever seen.

Ever.

Also, Big Build is largely a Transurban thing.

Paid with private investment, not tax.

www.theage.com.au/national/victoria/from-no-extra-cost-to-record-debt-the-12-year-transformation-of-victorian-labor-20260402-p5zkyi.html #auspol
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Only 48 hours to go until the next 48-hour deadline!!

The fart of the deal
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US has fired 850+ Tomahawk cruise missiles in 30 days. It bought 57 last year. The math is forcing the Pentagon toward a ground war in a country ringed by 4,000-meter mountains, with 90 million people. The person making these decisions has never commanded more than 200 soldiers.

#auspol
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One is a slippery, bottom-feeding, cold, slime-sucking, flathead

...and the other is a fish.

#auspol
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We'd only need to cancel one jet's return from the CPAC
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Fuel prices in Australia due to external pressures, of course.

But we should BAN the traitors who support MAGA over our national interest.

Let's start with:

1️⃣ 𝗚𝗶𝗻𝗮 𝗥𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗵𝗮𝗿𝘁

2️⃣ 𝗣𝗮𝘂𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗛𝗮𝗻𝘀𝗼𝗻

#aupol
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...or, I dunno. Stop using so much fuel. But don't panic because we have plenty. Well, not plenty, but enough. Not because we can't get it. There's a war. We are just a bit Hormuzed right now. But we get it. I'm getting it. For all of youse buggers out there. Me. Happy Easter. Take care. Good night.
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"Erm, carry on. Go eat some Easter chocolate or something. See you after the long weekend..."

#auspol
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I feel like getting on national tv and yelling at everyone to calm down does not actually calm everyone down

#auspol
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He's threatening to blow up civilian infrastructure if his political demands are not met.

Is this not, quite literally, the formal definition of terrorism?
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My suggested band for #NoKings

But I guess they'd need to be brought out of retirement?
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Houthis have entered the chat

#auspol
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Ah yes, renewables are to blame for the crisis caused by a lack of

* checks notes *

non renewable energy

FFS #auspol
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You never know.

It could happen tomorrow.

This day might might be his last.
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If it's really a "Strait" of Hormuz, then how does it explain all the seamen?
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Ok, which one of you wags called Trump pretending to be Iran?
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I will also not build a windfarm on the US coastline, for the low price of $1B
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48 hours of golf, not Gulf
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Well at least an oil crisis isn't "woke"
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There should be a scavenger hunt delivery service

Get a cryptic card with QR to scan...

...choose a password on a strange site...

...go to this depot? It might be there... ?

Oh, wait.

THAT ALREADY EXISTS!
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We really should get "first dibs" on our own gas, and our own oil.

Infuriating!!

www.abc.net.au/news/2021-10-29/record-prices-are-at-record-highs-fraser-government-john-howard/100575924 #auspol
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Remember: There were supposed to be zero human truck drivers by 2026.

Don't fire your employee eggs before the AI chickens hatch.
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