i don't understand why they landed integrity in the middle of the ocean. if i were them i would just land it at my house

April 11, 2026 - 00:09 UTC

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If you were them wouldn’t you want to land at their house
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We got a big trampoline in the backyard and that thing might just bounce off and end up in my neighbor’s yard and I don’t think they’d be happy about that.
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Last mile delivery is always the hardest...
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The Navy has long prevented the Army from allowing the astronauts to return to land and go see their families. It’s one of the Navy’s cruelest traditions to make them just float there in the Indian Ocean until we forget about the space program. Nobody knows why they do it.
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America just can't possibly have efficient public transportation 🤷🏼‍♂️
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It’s official: Kid Rock is a bad influence.
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Why your house?
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Driveway's right there
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So you're already home
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for real, why make that commute home so freaking long?
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Would certainly make a shorter commute.
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Shoulda landed at a Cubs ballgame, that woulda been fun for the fans in the stands
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The problem is, I think there's four of them and they might live in different places.

Still, that's no excuse for scaring the dolphins like that.
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they're goofing off
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Once again, something the Russian space agency is better at.

They even have a little spinny globe thing in theirs to point at where they want to land.
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they tried to but got lost. many such occurances
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Gonna be a costly uber.
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i know what house they didn’t land integrity at! that’s right – the white house. because of trump
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And here they knocked down the whole wing just to make room for the landing!
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Orange balloons? More like orange BUFFOON.
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you'd like them to land at your house, would you?
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it's all a scam by Big Helicopter
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“Yeah, just pull here.”
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Slip and Slide sponsored it
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HOA forbids it.
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HOA also controls TV rights huge pain in the ass
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I bet we’re less than 30 years from that happening.
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landing site controlled by Big Boat
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What if you miss and land ON your house? How will you get down? Or worse, your neighbors house. They might become irate.
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Tax reasons

Can’t tax my spaceship if it’s in the fucking sea
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Your body is ready?
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That Uber is going to be so expensive.
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you would need a very large bath
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It's in case they accidentally brought home any of those aliens from Signs that are allergic to water
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Pandering to Big Mermaid
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They have four different houses so they decided to land on the water so they can each take boats home.
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Could send a deck chair up to rendezvous
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you grill some all-american dogs and burgers for them thinking they would be polite enough to stop by but NOOOOO i guess my backyard shindig was more boring than the MIDDLE OF THE SEA
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Yeah like what if you gotta go to the bathroom real bad. Gonna hold it in for like 10 hours???
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The next splashdown should be sponsored by Great Wolf Lodge. How awesome would it be to see the capsule touch down in the big outdoor pool, then the astronauts race to be the first on the water slide?!
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Does this guy live in the ocean?
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Stable one! Lets gooo!
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But they don't live at your house, Jon.
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Well, actually, they did land it near my house. . .
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Oh you.
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Should have been The White House, both literally and figuratively.
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