KO @buttsexbananapeels.bsky.social

Athletic programming director. Nutrition coach and educator. World traveler. Avid backpacker. Shibari enthusiast. Competitive marksman. Former paramedic. Forever anti-fascist.

To the guy that assaulted me in the steam room: bet you didn’t expect an uppercut to your balls when you put your dick in my face.

NOBODY was expecting being led to the front desk with brutally forceful pulls on your ear and snap kicks to your balls while totally naked.

What is wrong with people?
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GAME CHANGER: Montana just found the "exit ramp" to kill Citizens United. They aren't waiting for the Supreme Court—they’re going around them. 74% of voters are on board and corporate lawyers are PANICKING. This is how we win. 🏔️💸 www.dworkinsubstack.com/p/army-secretary-tells-hegseth-no-montana
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I disagree with the state of AGI. I think they’ve accomplished it, at least relative to how fucking stupid the “figureheads” of big tech are.

Siri worked pretty well three years ago.

With LLMs, Apple has made Siri precisely as good at listening to and understanding me as every dumb bitch I’ve met.
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Next week: Barron says he’s adopted and Eric comes out as the first successful laboratory crossbreeding between the severely inbred and equus africanis asinus.
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I’m not a thinking man, but I just pooped two perfectly shaped softballs.

Grapefruits if you’re a toxic male.

Who am I kidding? Children don’t eat grapefruit.

I studied them with the flashlight on my phone. This wasn’t a random instance of normal turds “rock tumbling” down the sides of the bowl.
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Do your part to make sure this information gets buried.
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If you’re a guy and go into steam rooms fully dressed in sweats, shoes… like fully dressed.,, we all know you’re the weirdest kind of closeted and absolutely NEVER get laid.
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Nothing left to say

Billions feel this way

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We should all call our senators and congressmembers tomorrow and ask them to investigate the White House advisors who threatened Pope Leo. Pass it on!

(202) 224-3121
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Yup. In other words, yet another colossal fuck up and failure by the pants-shitter and child-fucker in chief: Donald J Trump.

Good job to President Fuck Face and his clown car of incompetent and impotent (in all measures) imbeciles.
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Cartoon by @deadder.bsky.social.
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Donald was stupid to start a war for no reason.

Donald was incompetent to start that war with no plan.

Donald is evilly deranged to threaten genocide because he’s embarrassed by how badly that stupid, unplanned war is going.
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This is exactly what MAGA voted for.
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This:
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Colbert to be replaced by the most uncomfortably unwatchable show featuring the worst corner of EVERY comedy club green room where everyone tries to shoehorn material into forced conversations.

Expert play, Paramount. That whole fascism thing is working out for you.

apple.news/A8b28EBvsQiCd--CndrGAqg
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Trump’s tactic is if his dick isn’t sucked by everyone, he will kill them.

That’s the play, people.
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Fuck Schiff.

The Ellisons don’t need any help.
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Fuck SCOTUS.

Fuck taxes.
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Me
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The US bombed Sharif University in Tehran.produced internationally recognized scholars including Fields Medal laureate Maryam Mirzakhani the first woman ever to win that award. More than 100 US-based legal scholars have signed an open letter warning these attacks could constitute war crimes.
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This man is still serving in Congress with the support of Mike Johnson.
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Including cancer research for kids.

Total dirt bags.
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This is a fucking tragedy.

And totally unsurprising.

Fuck MAGA.
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The choice of a blue generation.
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If a country cannot afford to take basic care of its people, it absolutely cannot afford to take care of their servants.

Think about this when you lionize a politician.

WE lend them power.

Politicians are our servants and the rich are wielding them like weapons against us.

Fuck the billionaires.
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Wouldn’t it be great if Satan (just dumber) died on Easter Sunday?
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For those who do not know. For those of that do, keep this #Fact_Check in circulation.
We won't quit until we win.
#Concerned_globalcitzens #Seek_SpeakTruth
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When did the onus for being an idiot land on the shoulders of the person identifying the stupidity instead of the one committing it.

You want to know how shit like MAGA exists, this is why.

Our culture is fucking garbage and guess what?

Someone created it.
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Today I’m grateful for completing a 3km swim.

I’m also grateful I broke a snorkel instead of a skull absentmindedly performing an aggressive flip turn.
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