If some dead guy emerged from a cave, I would beat him with a shovel

April 20, 2025 - 16:53 UTC

48
11
1136
"But I'm the Son of Man!"

What the fuck is that even supposed to MEAN dude?
0
0
3
I want my sins back you sonuvabitch
0
0
5
I would ask you to share some of what you were smoking
0
0
1
0
0
0
0
0
2
0
0
1
I'd thank you for your service
0
0
1
Aim for the head, seems to work in the movies.
0
0
3
he pushes back a gigantic stone door im gonna politely step aside, especially his last words were declaring himself the son of God
0
0
1
That is so damn funny.
0
0
3
Homie survived crucifixion, hell, and a 3-day nap, and you think a shovel is gonna stop him? LMAO
0
0
13
After you took cellphone video and posted it you mean.
0
0
4
You could see what he wants first!
#prudent
0
0
0
an allegory for American healthcare system
0
0
2
You gotta nip that problem in the bud.
0
0
2
0
0
1
youtu.be/YhF1AQUvyVE?si=gYhP6oziyOt-B0lK

If there’s a hell I’m on my way….
But I think I just popped a vein laughing at this post. BTW, catholic school girl of course
0
0
2
U just won for best post EVER…..I am dead
1
0
6
Don’t come back tho…or you’ll get the shovel.
1
0
1
The simplicity of this post has done for me
0
0
2
ZZ...Z... ZZOMBIE! Jesus Christ!
0
0
2
youtu.be/S4rbobz9Ylo?si=UpwyPDLhPVTtZ7a2
0
0
0
Things were different then. :)
0
0
3
Look, if an entire city of Sanhedrin and Romans can't permakill him, you're not making a dent
0
0
1
Look, I’ve seen enough horror movies to know how this goes.
0
0
2
0
0
3
We've seen SO many shows and movies preparing us for this. 💪💪
0
0
1
What, you're not celebrating zombie Jesus today? 😂
1
0
6
i am. in my own way
0
0
2
If you could, you should. If a legion of furious angels could stop you by mincing you with flaming swords, they should.
0
0
0
Same. The stink!!! There’s no miracle in that stink.
0
0
2
🤣🤣🤣🤣
0
0
1
Make a good movie that. John Waters, Timmy Chalomet.

Golgotha
0
0
0
you bet. I mean, isn't that basically The Walking Dead?
0
0
1
So would Sid from the Sliders episode of El Sid but he'd use a bat covered in barbed wire.
0
0
1
where were u when #stephenking needed a hero in Pet Sematary ?🐈‍⬛🧟⛏️
0
0
2
I have giggled for well over 20 seconds at this
0
0
5
Would help
1
0
6
we must defeat the zombies
0
0
6
How is Easter zombie flick not a THING?
1
0
4
Synopsis:
Jesus emerges from the cave in the midst of a zombie apocalypse.
"Brains!" -- Judas
2
0
4
0
0
0
I’d have questions for the guy who said he was dead and buried
0
0
2
Marjorie Taylor Greene would just shoot the motherfucker
0
0
4
Zombie Jesus [taking a bite out of his fake followers] coming to a theater near you in 2026.
0
0
7
So would most MAGA.
0
0
0
He disappeared?
0
0
0
Now I'm dead
0
0
1
I'd chop off his head. I'm ready for the Zombie Apocalypse.
0
0
1
Have some empathy he just woke
0
0
7
In past days people were buried with a bell outside and a string connection into the coffin.
0
0
2