STUMPTOWN SCUD 🦐 @spindlypete.bsky.social

she/her. sorry about my face, an animal licked it

honored east portlander, oregon treasure quest ranger, OSU extension service master food preserver and master composter, mother of multiples, peasant

USDA zone 8b/9a

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molly conger @socialistdogmom.bsky.social
5m
he got too excited at the UFC fight in miami and now he can’t sleep so he’s trying to fight the pope and posting AI slop of himself as jesus and a hotel on the moon. this rocks. i think the pope could beat him in single combat, let’s do it.
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with ... two... flagpoles? mounted on its back?
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is that a demogorgon angel
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sorry but what the fuck is that
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Linda Holmes @lindaholmes.bsky.social
25m
You all are talking about “the Pope is weak on crime” and I feel like the real gem is “should get his act together as Pope.”
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PURCHASE THIRTY-FIVE OR FORTY SHRUBS

bsky.app/profile/jcsalterego.bsky.social/post/3mjdqnke47c2j
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Chris Hayes @chrislhayes.bsky.social
32m
The Pope is WEAK on crime is so gd funny; I am HOWLING
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m @keptsimple.bsky.social
33m
Trump is clearly the Antichrist
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they also know of the existence of lots of other professions such as mailman and fireman and grocery clerk and librarian and construction worker and astronaut but they don't get that those are jobs. they think they're hobbies people do after they get done with their shift at the apple pie factory
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at first they thought that their papa and all papas caught fish all day at work because that's what father bear does on little bear but now they seem to think there's two options: fisherman, or apple pie factory. frankly that sounds perfect. let's do that
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the lads know that papa makes apple pie at work which is our way of simplifying elaborate food industry logistics and agricultural procurement and they seem to think all papas make apple pies all day at work? just every papa in the world in a huge network of apple pie factories
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my son just happily cried "i'm making a birthday in my mouth!" and then shoved half a soft-boiled egg in there at once
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her idea was to prove a point about how racism was not innate and that children from yknow all colors of the "rainbow" could be raised as siblings and treat each other with dignity and respect. but then she didn't really give them a very dignified or respectful childhood
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really strange idea! didn't work out great for anyone honestly but hindsight is 20/20
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did you ever read about her "rainbow tribe" of 12 kids she adopted and raised in a theme park because i just found out about that recently and was like WHAT
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my theory is she actually did not know that, but she is very sleep deprived so "i know" just came out reflexively, and after i walked off she too was like "wait what did i just say"
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Avery Edison @averyedison.com
2h
the young people are right, millennials had it easy—at any hour of the day, we could just turn on the radio, tune in to npr, and listen to a gen x dude explain to us again for twenty minutes that lobsters actually used to be poor people food
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anyway. weird decision to make! maybe it made sense for some reason we can't know. certainly couldn't be me but everybody is just doing whatever all day every day. every time i go out in public somebody is doing whatever, often more than one person
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i have certainly never changed a diaper in the lobby of any building tho and especially not a building dedicated to storing a huge number of items immediately totally ruined by touching poop. not anywhere food is prepared stored sold or consumed either. i would actually rather die
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once on a hike we had to change a diaper and brian took the offender off to a big rock and i stationed myself with the other baby on the approach to warn other hikers that there was a poop incident ahead in case that would be offputting to come across unawares
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i won't pretend i never changed a baby's diaper out in the common shared air but it was at like, the state fair, in the back of the bleachers where there wasn't a pig judging event happening, because the restrooms were literally a mile away and filthy
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they're really nice changing tables too? they were very expensive. there's also little child's size real porcelain toilets that flush and tiny little sinks that work too, it's adorable
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what?
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but like... what do you mean... "i know"? you know about the changing tables and you're choosing to have human waste in a room full of strangers? you prefer the scenario where people walking in the front doors or even passing by outside see right up your baby's asshole?
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i didn't say it like in a rude way, we had to walk right next to her anyway and she had looked up and smiled and said excuse me as we were approaching, i wasn't like, accosting a random woman, and i had a toddler in each hand so it was clearly like, mom intel
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lady was changing her baby's poopy diaper in its fancy stroller right in the lobby of the library waving the baby's bottom around in the air facing the front doors and i said, "oh you know there's really nice changing tables in the restroom in the kids section!" and she said "oh, i know! thank you!"
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me logging on
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Stella Sacco @antlervel.vet
5h
Wow guess I really got that one wrong huh? Turns out several types of weapon formed against me will prosper. And like, really easily
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when you buy a house you should also buy like 35 or 40 very small camellias azaleas rhododendrons etc and grow them on in nursery pots for years and years until eventually you get a shitty neighbor and then BLAMMO hit em with the hedge, fully armed and operational, for a fraction of the cost
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