Speaking as someone who is *definitely* going to hell,
"The lord only speaks through big naturals" is an objectively hilarious statement.

March 28, 2026 - 16:33 UTC

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I spent a lot of time speaking w the lord asking him how to be mother and then I got big naturals. Praise be.
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obvious conclusion, men cannot communicate with god at all
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fat cis men and trans dudes can, ig?
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I dunno. I've seen some dudes with impressive breasts.
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I once had a lumpectomy. Later, I gained weight. Now Iโ€™ve got one big one and one small one. I have no idea what this portends.
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You can speak to God and the devil. You are truly blessed.
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Maybe itโ€™s an alternative version of having a devil on one shoulder and an Angel on the other?
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itโ€™s also how meteorology works
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The layers to this joke ... ๐ŸคŒ๐Ÿผ
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Donโ€™t fret, the devil prefers zaftig souls.
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So the closest to god are cows ! Of course !
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@badmedicaltakes.bsky.social
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If Lukas actually read the Bible heโ€™d know that God in fact communicates through a burning bush
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So... STDs?
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So the manna from heaven was Canestan?
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That's a whole lot of words for "I'm afraid of women and they refuse to talk to me."
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Re: Lukas
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What fresh level of objectification have we reached
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itty bitty titty committee in shambles
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also this is so stupid it deserves two replies
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Such a scene stealer.
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what the fuck did I just read???????
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When my husband motorboated me, was he speaking direct line to god??? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ
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He was truly blessed.
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This is a perversion of @faineg.bsky.social thought.
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The lord brought us Stalinโ€™s Yaltitties and Tom Bombadil Big Naturals
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This dickhead doesn't even capitalize the word "him" when talking about the Lord. What's going on there
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Nobody does that anymore.
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As a trans woman with big naturals who is also a pagan-

Maybe the Gods *do* speak through big naturals ๐Ÿคฃ
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Only man going to heaven is big naturals Gandalf
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Lift Your big naturals like Antennas to Heaven
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We have a winner.
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This is the collaborative album released in the alt universe where Godspeed You! Black Emperor and Bloodhound Gang worked together
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This is why I love the completely deranged and entirely unhinged, they create such linguistic gems.
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if the corollary for men is what I think it is I'm gonna be pope
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So says Russ Prayer..
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So says Russ Meyer
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I low-key love how this implies lesbians are God's favourite people ๐Ÿ˜‚
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I would be offended if this weren't so stupid it's hilarious ๐Ÿ˜‚
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Not mad at women that hate men, weโ€™re almost all idiots but even I think Lukas here is a grade A schmuck.
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Every week there is more and more competition for Stupidest Fuckin Thing I Read All Week, but this one is a hands-down winner.
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Give it five minutes of scrolling.
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Flappers! Next up: Time for Prohibition? ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿคช
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Like huge natural antennas for the divine.
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It's absolutely true! Porn stars with huge breasts make So Many Men shout, "Oh, God-- YES!"
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On top of being sad I can never have cleavage I now gotta worry about going to hell because my small titties make me evil.
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Pretty sure beer is the source of my tits. Praise be Dionysus!
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Iโ€™m an atheist with large naturals. Not sure how I made the cut ๐Ÿ˜‚
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wow some one needs a double dose of reality and therapy
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This is absolutely a joke, there's no way they're serious.
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Top tier ragebait though
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The internet disappoints by the minute.
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As an atheist, not sure how I feel about God speaking through my tits.
Is this metaphorical, or like 'they're gonna become a holy speaker system'. Because I'm not having my chest broadcasting anyone's propaganda, even a deity - if they exist.
[Googles how to make earmuffs for tits...]
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I used to pray for bigger tits when I was a teen, and it didn't work, so really this is all on God for forsaking me.
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Judy Blume's cowardly publisher refused to use her original title, My God, My God, Why Have You Forsaken Me?
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They came looking for me once I was middle-aged! There's still time!
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I didn't realize there are such crazy people on this site.
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Got big boobs and not religious, so what are these things communicating with?!
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Aliens
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"What did he say?"

"He said the lord only speaks through big naturals."
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Author has clearly never been to Dallas. That town is ruled by god fearing implants.
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The Higher the Funbags, the Closer to God. Or something.... (I'm in the Metroplex)
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As I've aged my totties have gotten bigger.
Hallelujah!
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Idk why you would take a post on this site that has alt text, screenshot it, and then post that *without* alt text, so here's the original

bsky.app/profile/7ydy.bsky.social/post/3mhazkxkt3s2z
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presumably she also saw it on tumblr where i saw it
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Is this another member of Trumpโ€™s cabinet?
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Science. How does it even work. Nipples.
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Apparently breast size is genetically encoded on everyone, but half the people lack the estrogen to manifest it.

Looks like an argument for divinely ordained HRT on that half of the population.
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As a medium tiddy woman. I have to rely on men mansplaining the Bible to me.
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Only a Xian pervert would think to make boobs weird. Fck them.
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There's something almost prehistoric about that silliness
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As a small-boobed woman, I embrace the darkside.
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You are truly evil.
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Itโ€™s only 9am here. Too early for the craziest thing Iโ€™ll read today.
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So they're saying chocolate cake really does bring women closer to god?
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The bigger the tits, the better God listens.
God knows what he likes.
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The funny thing about their wall of text is that they would call sex workers the devil and while I know a lot of them do get breast augmentation, a lot of them are natural too. So are they the devil or are they gods favorite?
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you know, tiddies, the god antennas
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Welp, my breasts may be Christian but I sure as hell ain't.
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this is why the wise man motorboats. it allows you to listen
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I need an objective definition for both "big" and "small" in this context...
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oh look another guy who has an anime child pfp with an incredible opinion
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What if God was one of us
Just a stranger staring on the bus
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The lord invented stereo? I think I want quadrophonic.
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the xtians are NOT ok ๐Ÿ˜‚
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Gonna be on the list of sentences that pop into my head every now and then, make me giggle, and then I can never explain to anyone irl what I'm laughing at lmao.
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How is this not on 'Bad Medical Takes'?
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This might be my new favorite schizo Christian post
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Big Tiddy Alf for next pope
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Okay so I had DD cups by fifth grade and G cups by eighth grade, and that motherfucker never said shit

Even had a breast reduction at 26 and they still got bigger again. I guess my tits are still believers, but I'm an atheist, so if anyone sees a giant pair of tits up in heaven those might be mine.
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Athy, athier, athiest
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โ€œThis is also why women with small breasts are evil.โ€
Iโ€™d like to see scripture reference for this or does he just like big boobs.
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It's in the book of Tetons verse 38DD
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Where do moobs fit into their philosophy, I wonder?
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I am an atheist with implants and Iโ€™m perfectly ok with this guy thinking Iโ€™m evil
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This is either satire or the stupidest person on Earth, after Trump.
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Poe's Law
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Nobody serious would phrase it "The lord only speaks through big naturals" even if their beliefs could accurately be characterized that way.
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Not sure if this should be reported to @badmedicaltakes.bsky.social or bluesky moderation.
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The lord only speaks through big naturals sounds like something Larry the cable guy would say from the blue collar comedy tour. Im sorry, but it does.
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