Kiki Valken (they/them) @kikivalken.bsky.social

Woodshop goblin, rural fantasy writer, and shameful libertine

Hi. I know that invoking the movie Idiocracy can feel very satisfying right now, but I feel the need to remind y'all that the intro to that movie is bald-faced eugenics propaganda. Just, please keep that in mind, maybe, as context.
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This poor guy, again.
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A very suspicious look on this April Fool's Day, to all who celebrate.
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The state of the world has me feeling like mundane things like setting a yearly dermatology appointment are absurd acts of hubris.
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At Phoenix No Kings, there were people on the sides of the marching path with water sprayers, misting anyone who came to them for it. That was new to me. It was really nice, and I hope that continues to be a common feature for protests in hot places.
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Reposted by Kiki Valken (they/them)
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weeder @weeder.bsky.social
23d
Due to high geopolitical tensions, sports fans are temporarily required to contextualize their posts, for example:

❌ OH GOD OH NO OH FUCK
✔️ OH GOD OH NO OH FUCK how did he make that basketball go in the hole
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Reposted by Kiki Valken (they/them)
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Alyssa Long @measuredandslow.bsky.social
24d
People keep saying “oh so you want OPEN BORDERS” as some kind of gotcha and like. Yeah. When I was a kid you could just drive into Canada. On accident, even. It was great, and I think we should do that instead of kidnapping children. Normalize being normal instead of being kidnapping weirdos
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Nurse at the latest mastectomy reconstruction follow-up: Have there been any new issues?

Me, delicately: Well, they're still bigger than I'd hoped...

Her: We can always go back in and (descriptive gestures and squelching noises) you know.

Me: ...I'll get back to y'all on that.
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I bought a tiny train at the renaissance festival toy store, and now I can fill a little train car with blueberries while I eat breakfast and say, "choo choo, It's been a long day at the giant blueberry mines. Off to feed the people."

Very good purchase. Would recommend.
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To be clear, we don't have a doorman. He was just there to help ladies go through doors, recreationally.
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There was a guy hanging around opening the door for ladies in my building this morning. When he saw me, he gave a curt but not unfriendly nod and didn't open the door for me.

I would like to thank my breast reduction, my big bulky coat, and perimenopause for this gender-affirming occasion.
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It's amazing how almost everyone in America hates what's happening, and yet we can't fire any of the people who are making it happen. I wish we were a country that could perform a vote of no confidence in our leaders.
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Every time I read about how companies use AI, I am filled with gratitude that I work at an art studio where, if a big tech apocalypse happened, we would just have a little meeting and then keep making toys.
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Happy Friday the 13th to all who celebrate
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In case you're wondering how things are going economically in America: At our corner store, socks are now being displayed in a locked plexiglass case.
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Turns out, you cannot remove an annoying mole with a random orbit sander. It'll just grow back as a more alarming mole. If a mole is so annoying you want to sand it off with a random orbit sander, you should go see a dermatologist. If you try sanding off a mole, they can't test it the usual ways.
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Reposted by Kiki Valken (they/them)
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Lupita Nihongo @otsumamiboy.bsky.social
2mo
Race as a construct is so powerful that only now are many people saying ‘they are killing us’.

They have been killing us. We have all been us the whole time.
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Writing queer hopeful near-future sci-fi/fantasy feels very difficult right now.
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And you can look at that person you selected through an app and an interview process and they're a whole person who's made your life better, and a five star review just isn't enough to express how well that went. It's wild. Life is wild.
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And then it's been eleven years and you're in another place and the world is different, but this stable force in your life has been so good and if you had that ridiculous process to repeat, you would make the same choice.
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And then you have some hard times and some good times and the world changes and you talk to each other about your favorite foods and world events, and try to make each other's life easier and more fun and try to make the world less painful to traverse, and then you plan a big party and invite folks
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It's wild how you can meet someone on a dating app and end up married and happy eleven years later. Like, it's a thing you do on your phone to ask strangers, "Hi, would you like to fall in love and be each other's constant companion eventually?" and then there's an interview process
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This sign has been through too much, and has given up on trying to keep any part of this parking lot closed
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I never saw these signs in their intended state. I think they may have been brought to this place only to be laid delicately amongst the shrubbery.
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Construction of a five story apartment building is happening on the road that is my work commute (it has really good bike lanes). It has been an absolute smorgasbord of fallen over signs for months. I moved this one out of the way of bikes and pedestrians after photographing.
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When I worked as a host at a brewery, we were expected to show much greater emotional regulation while being sexually harassed than armed agents of the state are expected to show while just not getting what they want.
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Reposted by Kiki Valken (they/them)
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Alli DeJong @allidejong.bsky.social
3mo
abolish ice. abolish cbp. the whole regime must fall
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