🌴✨🦋 Kathryn 🦋✨🌴 @kathrynkatiekwrites.substack.com

Like most, I'm guessing, I'm here to escape the toxicity of X, while attempting to understand WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED. Trying to keep my head above water. Alum @KamalaHarris. Opinions R my own.
💥Substack: https://kathrynkatiekwrites.substack.com 💥

Raise your hand if you need a little pause from life and its stress. A little wine, 5 million dollars, a flat stomach and your own island, perhaps? I can't provide you with any of that, but how about a laugh or two? If you enjoy my humor, click here👇 and subscribe.😉
KathrynKatieKWrites.substack.com
24
2
332
Breaking your diet by eating 1 cookie, then thinking, "aw, the hell with it" and going on to eat 4 hot dogs, 3 handfuls of mini chocolate chips, a container of duck sauce, and a small village.
6
1
30
Nice lady at lab found my info in their system.
Crisis averted.
Blood drawn.
When finished, she double checks name on vials & says, “Kathryn Montgomery?” I freeze. Not my name. She laughs. “Just messing w/ya,” she says.
Everybody’s a comedian 😁
4
0
14
Made it to the lab.
Vision fading.
I forgot the paperwork.
I have to pee.

~ Fasting Bloodwork, a Saga
1
0
7
I *may* have overbought on the kettle corn.

Logic is waning.

~ Fasting Bloodwork, a Saga
0
0
6
At Costco while fasting. Shoot me now.
~ Fasting Bloodwork, a Saga
1
2
27
This morning, I have bloodwork and I NEED TO FAST.
I've draped masking tape across the coffee maker, like a crime scene.
I've been up for 12 minutes.
I'm not going to make it.

~Fasting Bloodwork, a Saga
3
0
18
*Squats down to look in the fridge*

Fitness.
6
0
36
Utility bill has arrived

~oil on canvas
4
1
47
I might be mean, but I have a good heart.

When I tell someone to go to hell, I still hope they get there safely.
4
0
31
I recently started a new diet:

Half an egg in the morning
half an apple in the afternoon and
half the fridge in the evening.
101
15
1947
What if one day Google got deleted and we couldn't Google what happened to Google?
8
1
28
me: I don't need to write it down, I'll remember

me 5 seconds later: oh no
5
0
31
Reads article saying 42 cups of coffee in one sitting would kill you.

Me, taking notes: 41 cups, tops. Got it.
6
0
28
Had a dream Walmart sold cars and I rang one up as a bell pepper at self checkout.
7
1
24
3
1
42
Sometimes I’ll still check Twitter and… wow. It really feels like everyone’s been given permission to be their worst selves over there. The stuff I see is a reminder of how bad it can get—and then I come back here and it’s like I can breathe. Thanks for being decent. It matters so much. 💙
62
9
1247
I almost dropped my phone on my soft carpeted floor, but thank god I have lightening fast reflexes and was able to slap it into the wall instead.
3
2
57
I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 3pm on any given day.
7
0
38
Me: Yoga might help me relax

Also me: But so will mac and cheese
6
0
19
My current body type is like you can kinda tell I workout, but you can also tell I don't say no to a cookie.
2
0
21
8.3 billion people on earth and somehow I'm the best driver.
5
0
27
Ordering myself a little treat because today would have
been my birthday if I was born today.
41
2
363
No-one warns you how often you'll whisper "righty-tighty, lefty-loosey" to yourself as an adult.
9
1
55
*eats snack while looking for a better snack.*
3
0
27
2
1
33
52
20
2677
Me, trying to find my way out of the doctor's office after the nurse abandons me.
2
0
44
🤭 (This one took me a sec)
4
0
60
[rubs eyes]

[remembers I'm wearing eye makeup]

[groans]
3
0
17
Babies with grownup names freak me out.

Like no, I don't want to hold Barry.
2
0
22
Load more