Starbuck Marquis @hauntedandroid.bsky.social

Disappointing people since before you were born

That chick that stabbed her mother 789 times in the face and then threw her decapitated head on the neighbours front lawn was let out. Anyway sweet dreams.
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If anyone broke into the house their death wouldn’t be quick but boy would it be creative
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If I was ever in a wheel chair and people quietly asked how I got in a wheelchair I’d say it was a coke fuelled 3 day orgy where I got paralysed because the Jamaican basket ball team were here in Australia for the Olympics with a dead pan straight face then watch as they die of embarrassment
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Reposted by Starbuck Marquis
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wargen @funeralpig.bsky.social
1d
i'm here for a long time not a good time
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Reposted by Starbuck Marquis
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wargen @funeralpig.bsky.social
1d
If you want revenge, then dig two graves. the first one is a practice grave to get a feel for it and the second is your main or "show grave"
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Reposted by Starbuck Marquis
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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social
1d
Told the nurse at the blood bank that I want all of my blood to be donated to gifted children
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Reposted by Starbuck Marquis
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🌸 @snakeroot.bsky.social
1d
They say the next Young Sheldon has already been born
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When basil goes to $160 a kilo I’ll be ready
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Ugly as sin rich guy-> Swim suit model-> They breed and have a pretty nepo baby with daddy issues -> they become the leader of Canada -> someone decides eugenics is trending again -> new nepo takes over when the slaves riot-> same gene pool new face-> Bazinga. Now you can sell basil for $160 a kilo
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I’m hoping the nukes say be best on them in white glitter paint
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Your technician Gary Hammock is on the way! Gary is a skilled Project Installer from Pumpkin, Indiana with a dual degree in bio engineering and arts management. When he’s not on the job, he enjoys spending time with his enthusiastic dog, Nubbins, as well as eating, sleeping, and breathing.
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Reposted by Starbuck Marquis
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Lord Juiblex @lordjuiblex.bsky.social
1d
We must all be humourless during these difficult times. If you must laugh, please do so in a private space where no one can see or hear you. I recommend a closet or possibly a hole in the ground.
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In fact squinting is mandatory
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I suppose an all white elliptical machine is nearly a podium if you just squint your eyes a little bit
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The queen of the nazis is not available right now. If you’d like to leave a message please do so after the beep.
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What island do you even mean lolz
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Melania: I was not even at island. What island are we speaking of. I never had a relationship with Epstein. How dare you think the 10 billion photos of me eating babies and rolling around drunk with 800 thousand pedophiles was linked with Epstein.
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I can do 5 are you kidding me situations simultaneously and at least 42 WTFs as well. At the same time.
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The 47th circle of Dante’s hell is people who use speakerphone then complain they can’t hear you.
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Twin Peaks soundtrack > Brian Eno
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They found out a migraine is just spinal fluid rushing to fill your brain then getting stuck there for three days causing permanent brain damage each time leading to possibly the greatest Bluesky tweets of all time right before you die in your ergonomic slave chair surrounded by chocolate wrappers
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You can tell if your manager hates you by the way theirs eyes glaze over the same way explorers looked when ancient Pharoah demons filled their lungs with sand to possess them which was incidentally the inspiration for Men In Black a popular film watched by the proletariat
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You can tell who is in and who is out by the amount of gross holiday pics circulating and if you look carefully the alpha will caress his ear bullet scar in an act of dominance when presenting his ass to the group.
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If their resume just says Minnesota then somewhere in the sky Kristi is smiling down upon them next to her husband wearing fake boobies. Next.
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My greatest disappointment is that I expected a fascist regime mob boss wife to be more intelligent
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Anyway here’s my secret custard recipe
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Melanias best move here is a sex tape
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First Lady list:

Awesome x50

Be best, a “movie”, a KKK themed garden, a speech and a jacket celebrating child torture.
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Contrary to popular opinion the Scolds Bridle was actually an ice pack holder
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So in conclusion Jeffrey eats one bicep meanwhile the elite are chowing down on anything that has a heartbeat which proves crime is class based thanks for coming to my TED talk
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