briween @briween.bsky.social

whip-smart and box-of-hammers-stupid
something something simpsons reference

patreon: no
substack: hard no

by the end of my life i will have spent hundreds of hours failing to convince automated faucets where my fucking hands are
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to me he'll always be Willem Dafriend
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so THAT'S what's causing the smell in the milky way galaxy faculty fridge, oof

someone order up 3m kg of baking soda
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@doctorow.pluralistic.net bringing the high heat to explain why our crony-capitalism-driven technocracies favor the richest companies in the world, why they stifle competition, and why our representatives in government are our only hope to get out from under Big Tech's bootheel
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the first time someone called me gormless, i was relieved. nothing would be a clearer indication that i've made some terrible choices in life than being full of gorm.
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new attorney general
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fun fact: this interstitial moment in the "overcome" mr. show sketch was supposed to take place during the challenger launch and is now the first thing i think of when it comes up.
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now all we have left is to show the same care for the well-being of the 8 billion people NOT rocketing toward the moon

godspeed, us
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take me with you 🚀
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i'm just super stoked that they're FINALLY going to get the lonely astronaut and bring him home

that's right i'm old what of it
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breaking: we've elected a new space pope
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can we retire "on steroids" as a synonym for "of a higher magnitude" for things like public policy? there are less lazy ways to say a crime bill has a rage problem and tiny balls
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not a slacker
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i am following this account purely based on the name

you can too
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The Wizard
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the conan sketch "attractive camp" accurately predicted the unearned self-confidence, self-improvement as grift, and sexual objectification of women taught to young men by manosphere/looksmaxxing programs

and here i just wanted to see brian mccann do a funny dance
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obvious joke about how trump is a fucking crackhead

there let's see how many likes and shares this gets
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it was only after i began getting pulled toward some large-tread farm equipment that i realized i was caught in a tractor beam
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Zombies love to
Eat bystanders
Everyone else loves Dead Flanders
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hey you know what's awesome it's when a whole team does a shit job of presenting any critical reasoning for why they want you to make certain changes when you ask for it and then holds a meeting with your senior manager to ram their poorly-considered changes through anyway working is amazing
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me every morning when i read the first story on my phone
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chuck norris outran the march of time until this time of march
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the name of this video says everything about the salesmanship of this sorry excuse for a senate minority leader

@schumer.senate.gov no one cares you are old and out of touch and very very bad at this

at time of posting: 796 views

resign
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can't wait to see craig robinson in the afroman biopic my guy's gonna act the shit out of this thing

it's gonna be like the people vs. larry flynt, only with more gold-plated cannabis leaves, if you can believe that
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you've read the other 1,400+ quote posts, now read this one!
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Bosch boss to mosh moss
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i think you mean take a left on Dolores Huerta Blvd

jfc men are the worst people
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