wait how were these 'marathon peace talks?' it's been a day!

April 12, 2026 - 02:58 UTC

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The talks were short, but he spent 2 days alone with the couch
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Magathon.
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Oh I’m sorry, does it take you longer than a day to run a marathon? Our VP is a hero for doing something for a whole day!
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I've had negotiations with my wife over what to have for dinner that lasted longer than this
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I assume they were discussing peace at some upcoming marathon?
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21 hours to declare failure is a short and decisive session that makes it clear the immovable bottom lines of each side are not close to overlapping.
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Google and some reddit thread tell me that men take about four hours and twenty minutes, on average, to complete a marathon. So if the negotiations lasted at least that long, they were "marathon".

We Americans and our weird systems of measurement!
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How many foot pounds per mile?
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Omnienvoy Witkoff has places to be, negotiations to bungle
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Sure, marathon takes about 7 or 8 hours if you're unprepared and have no idea what you're doing.
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Longest he's been offline
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Any negotiations would be expected to take weeks or months, even if they started with the Obama deal as a basis. Is wasn’t reported as ‘ we could not find mutually acceptable terms’ but merely as ‘ Iran couldn’t agree OUR terms’. JD knew that before Trump sent him to do the impossible, and fail.
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They want us to think the Trump regime really tried hard to stop the shit storm they started for no reason.
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Is it just me or does he look like he was photoshopped thinner and taller?
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TBF the last pope died after 5 minutes with JD
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Marathons usually take like 4-5 hours if you're properly prepared, to be fair
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21 hours? you are like little baby, that's the average day of a routine trade negotiation with a Chinese team (when they swap the delegates out on the Chinese side every eight hours)
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It is not at all an exaggeration to call them amateurs.
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I’ve been working to get my marathon time below 21 hours. Mostly carb loading for now. Gonna start some running too.
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was there some kind of directive that went out about using 'marathon'? good lord, I'm seeing it across all media.
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I've had mid-year negotiationsin Diplomacy that lasted longer.
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JD plowed through two "share size" peanut m&m pouches before calling it a day have a fucking heart
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Similarly, if EU member states took 21 hours to reach a position on, like, whether vegan milk alternatives count as milk fats or vegetable oil solids for the purposes of milk chocolate labelling laws, they'd consider that an early bedtime.
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Le Duc Tho and Le Duan are laughing at us, loudly, from beyond the grave.
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The average M&A transaction will have negotiations longer than that lol
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I have played video games for longer
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They do hockey line swaps LMAO
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Obviously they’re playing the new Bungie game, Marathon
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Used to spend 21 hours deciding on the shape of the negotiation table.
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Like trump, want to help him, etc
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It involved J.D. Vance. I presume all others involved feel like they've been in talks for 21 years.
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Marathon was the name of the futon
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And we're making the Pakistanis clean it up? These guys don't treat anyone right.
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How can you negotiate with the US when its dear leader can change is mind daily, or just forgot what he agreed to.
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CNN reported these as historic face to face talks between Iran and the US - seemingly forgetting the bad faith ones held in February (when the US had already decided on an attack).
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I've done MUN conferences longer than this
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