Ugh FINE I'll show up to work "sober" to lead the department of defense. YES without "sexually assaulting" everyone, christ anything else?

December 05, 2024 - 14:17 UTC

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Yea one more thing, no PB&J from Mom, you have to make your own lunch
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You all are unreasonable...
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I swear on my mother... yes, I brought her with me.
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๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿ‘ฉ
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๐Ÿ˜‚
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๐Ÿ˜‚ love it!
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Women can remain in combat. And when is your mom available for an interview?
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๐Ÿง๐Ÿง๐Ÿง
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Don't be late. LOL
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I do this daily and am far less of an asshole than that guy, so maybe I should take the roll. Though my fault is, that will not look the other way on the orange felon's crimes.
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HA HA ha haโ€ฆhaโ€ฆhaโ€ฆ<weeping for our future>
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Lol. I love reading all the crying that goes on here.
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PERFECTLY put!
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I found it odd that he said he would not drink โ€œif he is confirmedโ€.
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Not qualified and an alcoholic who canโ€™t stop drinking!
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Sounds like Donald j.Trump!
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This must be their version of "Oppression" they tried to defend during the DEI hearings this week and @repjasmine.bsky.social had to LIGHT their asses TF up. They "feel" as if they should be allowed to be Mediocre in high rank roles and are 38 ๐Ÿ”ฅhot NOBODY is here for it
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My kids of which many I'm not aware of
Love me is his credo
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If it's not too much to ask, can you also keep the " Kill the Muslims " chants to non- work related events. .
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Actually, I don't think he promised to not sexual assault. ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ™„.
I'm just saying!
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I donโ€™t know, no sexual assault might be his redline.
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yea- change yer shirt cuz we got CLASS. McDonald's?
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Maybe appropriate the funds to the purpose for which they were intended too. Ok?
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With a note from his Mommy, too! Whewโ€ฆI feel heโ€™s learned his lesson! Iโ€™m speaking on behalf of Sen. Susan Collins after she finished pearl clutching with her โ€˜deeply concerned!โ€™
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Could you also like, know something about the dept youโ€™re leading? Even a vague idea would be great, thx
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Yeah, could you also denounce plans for a Christian crusade? โ€˜Kay, thanks! โœŒ๐Ÿฝ
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Obey the ten commandments.
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๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ yeah pretty much!!!
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I mean, would it kill you to wear some pants, too?
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And get a fucking decent haircut you look like a goddamn former anchor now trying to hold on the the 11 PM chair after 5 divorces
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Hey now now, he didn't have 5 divorces.

He had 5 affairs during his first marriage, and at least one more during his second marriage.

It's such a big difference and really speaks to his better moral character, like how being liable for ๐Ÿ‡ and being liable for SA are two very different things /s
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๐Ÿคฃ
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I mean, seriously. What do they expect of me?
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"Without sexually assaulting ANYONE or without sexually assaulting EVERYONE?"

"Well, to be fair, I only ever sexually assaulted women I found appealing, & if I'm sober, that will be fewer women."

"Your clarification sounds like you are leaving SOME sexual assault open."
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So many silly job demands these days. Must be the Deep State at work.
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Well except he never offered the latter
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You totally sound like a โ€œnot party girlโ€. ๐Ÿ™„
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Of course the rest of us have done this every day for decades BEFORE we get consideration for a management role
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This guy needs to get a few more years under his belt before claiming he is good, speaking from experience.
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yes actually, only contract with companies who will make politicians rich!
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My mommy said Iโ€™m a good boy ๐Ÿ‘ฆ
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๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
Heโ€™s such a child.
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thatโ€™s a lot to ask
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Or maybe he will opt to work from home to minimize his office time.
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lol
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โ€œWhat do you mean, I have to follow the constitution? What kind of bullshit is that?โ€
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Given who nominated him, I think he knows that's optional.
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too real
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Ok, I will wash my hands too, whatever.
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Promises to stop picking his nose and eating it
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I forgot about the hand washing thing wtf
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Donโ€™t make me bring my mom down hereโ€ฆ
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Hahaha
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๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฅ‚๐Ÿฅ‚๐Ÿฅ‚
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Not only that, he cheats on wife one at least 5 times and marries one of them. While married to wife two, he has a child with wife three. In the meantime, he is busy sexually assaulting another woman at a convention. Can he be any sleazier? The Republican family values on full display.
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Newt Gingrich was his role model.
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Well, if you could do something about that pompous smirk that'd be juuuust greeeaat, mmmmkay?
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Yes. Tell your mom to stop calling.
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He's definitely going to have the list of party and not party girls ready and his water cooler is going to be full of vodka.
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Doesn't matter he bankrupted two small nonprofits...
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Could you please refrain from axe throwing for life?
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yes. you must also wear pants and shower regularly.

let us know if that's the deal breaker.
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What about being left go from the two organizations he managed? Does that count?
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Can you also not shout racial epithets please?
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But momโ€ฆ.
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So much for the perks he was promised.
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Reminds me of Fawlty Rowers John Cleese except not funny
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No GLUTEN!!
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hahaha
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Didn't even promise not to sexually assault anyone? I thought it was just the drinking...
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"what, do I have to get my mom to call you too?"
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๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘
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๐Ÿคฃ
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Have you been convicted of a crime?
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Test him for cocaine daily.
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LOL
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Can I still call for the deaths of all our Muslim soldiers?
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Yes, โ€˜only steal a little, and make sure you cover it all with a dish cloth from the kitchen perhaps! Donโ€™t let many know youโ€™ve stolen much!! โ€˜
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๐Ÿ˜‚
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But as soon as itโ€™s 5:01pm, all bets are off! Bottoms up!
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Whatโ€™s a guy gotta do to get a job around here?
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www.army.mil/article/271126/dod_substance_use_education_campaigns_offer_resources_support_to_service_members href="/search?t=posts&q=:~:text=For%20service%20members%20who%20choose%20to%20drink%2C%20being%20able%20to,'">#:~:text=For%20service%20members%20who%20choose%20to%20drink%2C%20being%20able%20to,'
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๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ
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Now wait a g.d. minute! Nobody said anything about agreeing not to se&ually assault ppl, AND not drink! #YallAskinForTooMuchNow
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PANTS?!
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Pinky promise?
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Sort of pathetic. But setting that aside (not that anyone SHOULD do that), Hegseth is not qualified to head the organization. He does not know how to do the basics of the assignment. His behavior in the military would disqualify him from promotion. He sounds like all alcoholics before they get help.
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Not gonna blame his alcohol problem for his gross stupidity, however. That's an "and."
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Hmmm...show up on time? Hmmmm....show up ready to work? Hmmmm...I am sure there would be more basics for PH if we knew.... Be honest? Listen to others? Treat others with respect? OH, we ARE talking about DOD, not Kindergarten here.
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He never said he wouldn't assault anyone. Or do drugs. He said he wouldn't DRINK.
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The sacrifices these men make - so proud
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๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚โœ”๏ธ
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Funniest lol of the day !!!! Thank you!
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Well, there is that public toe-picking thing I've been meaning to talk to you about...
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It'd be nice if you could flush the toilet when you're finished. And wash your hands.
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Thatโ€™s worth a follow
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Stellar.
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always with the rules, these people. AS IF
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"next they'll want me not to be a Nazi ffs"
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Inb4 "he's not a Nazi he's a far right Christian Nationalist" like that's not code for Nazi
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I mean. Maybe stay sober while at work?
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Sober, huh? A curious choice for a position of power. But remember, pal, the market doesn't care about your sobriety. It cares about results.
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Right? What a basic statement thatโ€™s full of shit.๐Ÿ™„
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Yeah. Can you go easy on the Christ thing?
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HA!
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I mean, it is a pretty big ask.
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Please remember to wash your hands โœ‹๏ธ
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Cute. Dumb, but cute.
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Everyone's picking on me mummy
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You said that when we employed you.. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
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Crimeing on Monday forgiven on Sunday.
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Ok ok, no more white supremacy tattoos
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"Oh and that other stuff? That's all in the past".

uh huh.
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Itโ€™s so embarrassing.
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They really need to lay off, am I right?
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Hahah
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๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
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That response will get a thumbs up from the republican Senate...
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Well yes now that you mention it, could you try not to BK the DOD while youโ€™re in charge?
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How's bout "And I won't deplete the coffers".
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Perfect ๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘
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Leave him alone, or he'll tell his mum
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Letโ€™s not forget that the man who doesnโ€™t think women should serve in combat has his mommy doing a media tour to save his ass
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#makeitmakesense
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She also confirmed the stories by saying โ€œheโ€™s not like that anymore. That was 7 years ago!โ€
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Women canโ€™t go to war because someone needs to stay home and smooth over the kids PR catastrophes.
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Just pretend until January ...
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Donโ€™t bring your mom to work. Itโ€™s unprofessional and the big soldier men wonโ€™t respect you.
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I was thinking maybe I went wrong somewhere, and was going about things backwards...๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿ™ƒ
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Neither will the little soldier women, like me! U.S. Army Signal Corps! And my mom was WRAC (Women's Royal Army Corps).
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Context?
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abcnews.go.com/amp/Politics/pete-hegseth-back-scrutiny-grows-misconduct-allegations/story?id=116444894
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What do you mean I'm not supposed to be on the offense, isn't that the best defense?
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No bum rushing the stage to โ€œjoinโ€ the dancers?
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Even worse, Hegseth is conservative & Christian in his beliefs. He will undermine the militaryโ€™s nonpartisan policy. Eliminate diversity from the ranks, ban women in combat, urge the military to choose sides in a civil war against domestic enemies on the left, & include muslims.
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Yes, pull up your fly.
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Yup, we promised tooโ€ฆ
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Lest we forget..
.
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He's going to promise not to lie again too, which is, of course, a lie.
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Or self-delusion...
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Pretty sad that itโ€™s come to this
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Can I at least flaunt my white power tattoos???
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Yes, women stay in combat, and trans people stay in the armed forces
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Yeah. And harassing the girls while you're at it. K. Bye bye.
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Stop the corruption? Lol

youtu.be/V-mPgLeT8rI?si=nj0XkSRe0C6NsB7g

oversight.house.gov/release/final-report-covid-select-concludes-2-year-investigation-issues-500-page-final-report-on-lessons-learned-and-the-path-forward/
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You have to promise not to bankrupt anymore Vet associations.
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Fucking fuck fuck.
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Right. If he can't stay sober for a weekend morning show, what makes you think he will stay sober in the most stressful job in the world. All while carrying the nuclear codes.
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You know everyone who has worked with him has debunked this story. And they arenโ€™t โ€œanonymous sourcesโ€!
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how is it nobody has commented on how a news commentator is categorically unqualified to lead DOD?

In a functioning democracy, being qualified would be the focus.

"Is he too much of a criminal and the drunk?" is more par for Putin's dictatorship.
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Nope, those were the only requirements. Welcome aboard
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Throw in a side of tapping down on misogyny. ๐Ÿ˜†
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OK, you made me laugh so hard I farted & scared my dogโ€ฆthatโ€™s a first. ๐Ÿ˜ณ
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yes, can you also present the UK's next series of Masterchef please
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Not defending him, but do want to point out that the founder of ST6 drank a bottle of bombay a day and held the first recruitment for it in a bar.

Again, not saying I approve, just will take any opportunity to remind ST6 of their roots.
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Bring your mom
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No, your Mother can not come with you
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๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘
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"You're lucky you're pretty and have a great ass because I wouldn't put up with this otherwise. Say. You wanna get a drink? See where the night takes us?"
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The standards are really almost impossible to meet for the jobs. Geez.
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You'll have to stop yelling kill all Muslims, too.
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I suppose being competent is out of the question.
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No longer a prerequisite, apparently: itโ€™s incompetentist.
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If they're making a list, I think a commitment to wear pants at all times should feature, considering Mr. Hegseth's well-documented proclivities.
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Sorry to inconvenience you sir
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This! ๐Ÿ˜‚ But do I HAVE to wash my hands after going potty???
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๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ
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Itโ€™s tempting to laugh, but itโ€™s actually quite sobering (if you will). This is actually where weโ€™re at.
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Ask mommy to say "u a good boi"
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๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ you made my day ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‘
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They'll let him work 'remote'...from home. ๐Ÿ˜ถ
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๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜‚
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Well put.
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๐Ÿ†
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I think Susan Collins says heโ€™s learned his lesson.
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So clueless. Hasn't she learned her lesson??โ˜น๏ธ
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Nod
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The thing about Susan Collins is that she's a Trump bootlicker like all the others. But she doesn't want people to know it, so she acts utterly naive so as to create a narrative that she's a moron. She's not a moron. She'd just rather be seen that way than as a bootlicker.
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I know, it's a chore ๐Ÿ™„
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One more minor thing, they asked if you can keep your racists tattoos covered. At least during business hours.
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One other thing. Promise to never again insert your cigar in an interns love canal
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Itโ€™s like the public just doesnโ€™t appreciate the hard work of walking straight while drunk and groping and assaulting women is hard hard work -he just gets no respect
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Could you also not bankrupt, like, the country? Sorry if thatโ€™s a problem.
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Project 2025 to Drop $1M to Pressure GOP Senators to Back Pete Hegseth

The Heritage Foundation president said the group will be spending the money to convince GOP senators, some of whom are reportedly not sold on Hegseth.

www.yahoo.com/news/project-2025-drop-1m-pressure-165641572.html
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๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ I served 23 yrs in the US Army - does anyone think SOLDIERS are authorized to behave this way? Itโ€™s more likely if one of us did anything like that it would be at a minimum an Article 15 -rank reduction & loss of pay or Courts Martial & Dishonorable Discharge & a well deserved boot up the A$$!
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๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ
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Lol
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gotta promise you aren't going to "drug" anyone's drink & "sexually assault" that person while unconscious, geez
cover all bases, would ya?
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Can you also do better than the other two organizations you ran?
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Yes, one more thing.
Take your mom to lunch once a month.
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He keeps sticking to the 'current-military-guy' cosplaying too.

"this would be my most important deployment ever," and "I drank to hide the demons that came from combat" despite people at Fox smelling alcohol on him at work just last month.

He's the nominee because Trump has the mind of a child.
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It's such a burden! ๐Ÿคฃ
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The struggle is real.
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