MOST EARNED IT
Minneapolis

MOST SYMBOLICALLY CORRECT
Philly

MOST DEVASTATING TO TRUMP
New York

FUNNIEST
Miami

April 07, 2026 - 15:17 UTC

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I feel like San Francisco or Portland would cause the most aneurysms
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Rand, West Virginia
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dc has the most people directly made unemployed by trump so i don't like us getting totally left out just because it's an easy commute
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That’s a good point
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There's enough action to spread around.

DC can have the ones for John Roberts and his fellow clowns, as well as the DOGE-related stuff.

Everyone, everywhere, should be able to attend a tribunal with a short trip on publicly-funded transit.
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It can be a part of the lore of the state’s founding
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DC also held the first major war crime trial of an American by Americans. Henry Wirz, trued in the US Capitol build8ng.
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Turn his ballroom into a pyre
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Nashville but only if Trump has to personally pedal a bar cart to and from the trial
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Go with New York.
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week 1 in philadelphia, week 2 in minneapolis, week 3 in new york, week 4 (convictions + sentences) in miami
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The mark of a good trial venue (miami) is that I can probably get a flight there on Spirit for like $50
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With what fuel
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Pittsburgh. The condemned will be sentenced to navigating the city without either crossing a single bridge or driving up a hill with a gradient higher than 5%. They'll starve to death within days.
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I think we need to get Portland OR in the mix
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It's not capable of enough raw hatred, plus too close to white enclaves who would try to spring them
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MOST APPROPRIATE
Tehran
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He pulls a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue.

THAT’S the Chicago Way.
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Portland could turn it into a street festival.
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All excellent but don’t sleep on El Paso for its proximity to the concentration camp at Fort Bliss.
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New Yorkers would be lining up for miles to clown his ass
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We cannot hold any trials in a state where Aileen Cannon has any power whatsoever. So we cannot include Florida in our competition.
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Chicago, specifically in the Obama Presidential Library.
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chief justice Pitbull
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dale
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pitbull could reportedly recite the works of jose marti when he was 3 he's certainly more qualified than a couple justices already
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Miami. 100%
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Why not all of them? It's not like only Trump will be on the hotseat. All his supporters and backers need to pay the price too. We'll need to utilize a few cities to pull something like that off.

I, for once, welcome the idea of making use of Philadelphia.
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Nuremberg of course. Duh.
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he should be tried by the central park players in full costume
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Your suggestion has inspired me to suggest:

The Central Park Five.
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Or the Central Park Five
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I initially read this as "the central park five" and thought how fitting that would be
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Holding them in an ICE detention facility would be delightful
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Hometown of the new president.
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How about on Guantanamo?
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The end of braveheart has our solution
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As long as we get all the fuckers who want to bleed with him
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i'm pitching Baltimore as a dark horse candidate
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I want them to know true fear, and Baltimore is so very capable of this
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San Francisco might piss him off the most.
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Or Sacramento and Gavin can be appointed as judge.
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Chicago! The world could see how absolutely depraved it is to believe it is some kind of crime ridden hell-hole 😂 Plus trnp *hates* Gov. Pritzker so much, the gov pushes all of his buttons and those of his minions.
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Las Vegas, trial takes place in the Orb
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Chicago. Right next to Obama's library.
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Host trump’s in NY and the rest in Philly
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Trump [being dragged into court in NYC]: My boy Mamdani wouldn’t let this happen, right?
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Outside a Trump Tower
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But consider: Mar-a-Lago
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Mar-a-Lago needs to be an immigrant welcome center similar to Arlington being converted to a Union graveyard
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Philly would look like the Scarecrow trials in TDKR. i need it desperately
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Proceedings halted (again) as the gallery pelts defendants unmercifully with D batteries
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El Paso
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I appreciate this list for covering all bases.
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NYers already convicted him on 34 felonies - I think the Twin Cities earned this one.
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Portland, OR has a decent claim to "most earned it" too after 2020, so maybe they can have a bunch of the guys who were in DHS back then
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Nuremberg Trials, 1945
Pittsburgh Trials, 2029
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How about Pennsylvania? We’re a swing state. Kind of perfect for gallows.
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Topeka
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Oh? Are we trying to help the Westboro Baptist Church save money?

Screw that, let's hold it in Panamá.
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It should be in DC. In his stupid ballroom.
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Considering the connections to both the current pope and also the future president (JB Pritzker), Chicago should host the Nuremberg 2.0 trials
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I personally think it would be funniest to happen in, like, Bakersfield or smth
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Love it!! 💯 Agreement
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If it was in New York, we could throw them all into Rikers for the duration; it's right there
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imo instead of ballroom being stalled we could build the big beautiful courthouse
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The Tribunal Wing 😍
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flatpack ftw
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Florida would let him walk
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It needs to be somewhere Trump wouldn't visit because it's beneath him. Des Moines.
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Albuquerque, Laredo, Dodge City... 🤠
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So he can walk? Throw a rock and youll still hit a supporter
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Philly will be fine but nobody bring any robots
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I thought Mar-a-Lago itself would be the most fitting.
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It's almost insane to me how all four of these are just so correct? How did you - you are good at this.
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The Dayton Trials
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Minneapolis has a nice parallelism since it was the site so much ICE violence and the murder of two U.S. citizens
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Philly of course

bsky.app/profile/r5-to-philly.bsky.social/post/3miw66llxos2b
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I would counter that Portland would be most humiliating to trump.
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Boston would also be highly symbolically appropriate.
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Would happily support us hosting it here, but the rationale for these other cities is strong
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I feel like we should get it in Boston because we don’t have any nationally elected republicans to go along with being the Cradle of Liberty.
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San Francisco in the house!
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Chicago needs to be strongly considered
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If we’re dividing up sites for trials to various admin folks I’m happy to defer to MPLS but we deserve somebody. Hegseth, miller, tulsi, Rubio…we should get somebody.
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Sentenced to Death by Skyline Chili
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Miami 🙏
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Atlantic City deserves a little pick me up
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There's a vacant lot at 2500 Boardwalk that would be perfect
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they should go on tour with it
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I mean, doing it in NYC would hurt him, but I am in favor of Florida getting something other than hurricanes, traffic, and dying orange groves
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If the Rays are really going to abandon the Trop....
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does 'The Villages' retirement home community in florida have a suitable venue
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I don't really care where, just so long as Jack Smith and Fannie Willis are co special counsels.
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Actually, I'm not sure this would fly from a jurisprudential standpoint. Maybe just let them be on all the talk shows and podcasts making both bank and also fun of tRump.
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Philadelphia
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new york, make sliwa sergeant at arms for the proceedings
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Empty Rikers and put the entire administration in it
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it must be Philly.

But all you're options are great.
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There’s actually a Nuremberg in PA. Not sure if it has a courthouse tho.
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I vote for a roving Tribunal of the Americas- Mexico, Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, El Salvador, Guatemala, Colombia, Minneapolis, Quebec, Chile, Panama: Let the truth come out where the crimes were committed and the victims harmed.

And make certain the dates are announced on social media.
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On the rubble of MAL would be my vote
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Do a little first term throwback and have it in Mexico City
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Put the gallows right on the art museum steps so Billy Penn can see it
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I'm fine with the Hague w/Jack Smith back in his role as prosecutor there. Bibi & Putin should be co-defendants. But in lieu of that I'm like the idea of Minneapolis.
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As a Philadelphian I would love it, but I agree Minneapolis deserves it
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Portland has a solid argument, especially if one includes the crimes of the first term.
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I would also suggest "funniest: Las Vegas"
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Ok I’m sorry but funniest would be like Walla Walla or Bumpass, VA
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cucamonga
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Too much WT im not leaving anything to chance
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MOST STICK THEIR NOSES IN IT
Nashville

MOST YOU AND WHAT ARMY TO STOP IT
Anyplace in Texas besides the major metros
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