“In our continuing fight to make America great again, it is vital we maintain Republican control of the government so we can ensure the extrajudicial killing of all U.S. citizens at the hands of ICE officers,” said Republican National Committee chair Joe Gruters

January 14, 2026 - 01:00 UTC

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The Onion is working overtime to keep being riduculous LOL
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Joe Gruters might transform back into Peter Pettigrew at any moment.
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I feel there was once a time I didn’t have to check twice to make sure it was you. That seems so long ago. Several lives ago.
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I have an idea for an alternative 'Pillar'...
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the quiet part outloud
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Seriously tho:

We accept lethal force abroad as “necessary for U.S. safety.”

We excuse - immunize - domestic agencies when they murder U.S. citizens.

That’s not security—that’s selective accountability.

Who is responsible for stopping it?
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Okay, it's just the Onion...
😓

🥹 for now anyway.
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This dumb ass doesn't realize how close people are to taking this ICE problem into their own hands. I don't think he understands how many people in this country owns a weapon. But if they keep going in the direction they are going. I'm pretty sure they are going to find out.
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🫢🫢🫢
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One of the said benefits of being ICE is the sharing of sildenafil amongst the agents. The downside of this is that their erections are very noticeable when they go on these raids.
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Democrats just want to reform the Nazis so we've got a couple of great options
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Weirdly at this stage of the USA this isn't top far off of what a republican would say
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At this point I honestly believe most maga psychos would have no problem with that idea.
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Have no problem? No, it’s exactly what they want.
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Oof, too soon.
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Not soon enough!
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Sooo, funny story: I saw the link preview before the publisher name and processed the story as believable and not surprising because that‘s where we are now.
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It won’t be too long before America invades itself, and loses!
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This one is a lot less funny
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Must be getting hard to create satirical headlines with that clown show…..
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MAGA GOP lawmakers are the problem that they claim to solve.

Kick them out power and castrate them all.
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Gah! My heart skipped a beat
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Achtung!
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