I know it's become a trope in some circles because of what is the focus of most of the book, but Schulman's "Conflict is not Abuse" is about some of this.
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I've read that in the past, and don't agree with that reading of the book (setting aside what feels like a straw argument re individual shunning, when shunning is a group dynamic??), nor do I think the book is perfect. I do think the point of overstating harm is useful re smol bean fascism.
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