I converted to Catholicism last week. Here’s why it’s necessary for the United States to invade Vatican City and install its own pope.

April 09, 2026 - 03:25 UTC

71
31
5038
they don't need to invade Vatican city! They can just name an American Bishop or Cardinal, like Dolan, who was fired for following DT
1
0
1
Dolan was also fired for ignoring child abuse, so he’d actually be perfect for the role of Bishop of Republicans
0
0
1
0
0
0
Created choosing to pick a war with their creator.....
0
0
0
Breaking: Vatican announces plan to charge tolls on the Tiber.
0
0
21
I think we need a Protestant pope for once!!
/s
0
0
1
U made our day bot
0
0
0
"I didn't join the Church. The Church joined me."
0
0
1
If anyone was going to beat Henry VIII's 500-year-old record score at being an asshole about Catholicism, it was Trump and his courtiers.
2
0
35
Trump doesn’t miss an opportunity to be an asshole about anything. We all have our talents and that is assuredly his. We can add classless, greedy and grotesque.
0
0
18
That's the Defender of the Faith™ you're talking about!
1
0
3
JD Vance ascends to the Most Holy Seat the right way.

- Ezra Klein
0
0
9
J.D. just wants to get to a Presidency somehow....
0
0
1
Kidnap the Pope and take all the gold.

Voilà!

Many more gold toilets!
1
0
4
Don't give them ideas.
0
0
3
My thoughts on why the Vatican needs to develop nukes.
1
0
12
As we get crispy at least we will be laughing.
0
0
1
👀👆
0
2
49
We already have a US Pope!
0
0
1
You know they're feeling the heat when the moral authority of 1.4B people called them out.
0
0
3
Haha
0
0
2
This is a joke right?

As a newcomer can I encourage you to familiarise yourself with the term papal infallibility. It goes with the territory.

If you have a problem with this then Catholicism is perhaps not the religion for you.
2
0
2
Yes, of course it is a joke. It's the NY Times Pitchbot.
1
0
2
It's @nytpitchbot.bsky.social, of course it's satire.
0
0
2
“I’m Henry the VIII I Am” just popped into my head for some reason.
0
0
2
0
0
64
You picked a bad time to convert. They stopped being cool last month.
2
0
13
Wait a minute. I thought you were talking about POTUS wanting to be pope.
0
0
1
I know this is a joke, but people stopped admitting their Catholicism when JD Vance came out.
2
0
21
Our poor dear leader cannot stand to have people not kiss his ass. Awww that makes me sad.......NOT! Boy he woukd hate it over here in this great application called Bluesky... 😁 I got one thing to say to him
0
0
0
Are u JD?
0
0
0
By JD Vance
0
0
1
We haven't had a good schism in a while.
1
0
4
💯💙🤣
1
0
1
Pope Paula I.
1
0
4
Lightning fast conversion.
0
0
0
I hope you know this is extra good because new converts are baptized at Easter, ie last week
0
0
2
✅️ Jerusalem
✅️ Vatican
❌️ Mecca

Welcome to my Any% Holy War Speedrun.
0
0
0
Interesting how the first thing these new converts learn about Catholicism is the Pope is wrong about everything
0
0
26
Put the Sacraments on the Blockchain
by Andrew Yang
2
0
19
A+
0
0
1
Universal Basic Intercession Will Unleash Innovation
0
0
8
bsky.app/profile/ootek.bsky.social/post/3miz4v334hc2y
0
0
1
You're gonna need more followers before you try that. Just saying.
0
0
0
I heard he's good at languages, can learn Latin fast.
0
0
0
Regime change.
0
0
3
Trump admin. figure referencing the "Babylonian Captivity" in Avingnon was not on my dance card, I have to admit
0
0
3
Some people are willing to to give peace a chance, yet completely against giving violence a chance. And some people think that’s very unfair treatment.
0
0
1
Everyone thought JD Vance wanted to be President, here he wanted to be pope the whole time, lol.
2
0
35
He’d look good in a dress.
0
0
1
President of Venezuela, CEO of Greenland, Canadian Mounty, Pope, supreme leader of Iran. Just read a few foreign words (LARGE PRINT) off the teleprompter. And I heard they are recruiting in Tartarus (Tartarusa?).
Wow. The job opportunities for geniuses are practically infinite!
2
0
8
0
0
1
0
0
2
Also, investigate Pope Leo for cost overruns on the renovations of the Papal apartments.
1
0
1
He's building a ballroom, yknow. Bigly, gold everywhere, bunkers underneath AND? deep dish pizza
0
0
1
"ProxyPope"
0
0
1
Typical convert.
0
0
0
So before conversion your thinking ability was severely damaged and now You have surrendered your ability to think all together
0
0
0
Has the Vatican city got oil?
1
0
10
Yes, but only the one that they may use in anointing (if they practise anointment).
0
0
8
by Ross Douthat
0
0
13
Knowing that EVERY sperm is sacred, does not mean that is true.
1
0
2
There aren't enough women 9n the planet for 1 man.
1
0
0
Pope Leo XIV needs to learn his lesson.
By Susan Collins
1
0
47
I see what you did there!
0
0
5
After Venezuela and Iran, is the to Vatican next?
1
0
5
I thought he had Cuba on the list? I blinked could have missed it though...
1
0
3
Do it!! 🤣
0
0
0
😜
0
0
0
As the founders intended.
0
0
0
Let's hope attacking the Pope works for Republicans like it did for the Soviets.
0
0
1
thats unfair

I sold a book about it too
0
0
0
The Pentagon is threatening the Pope the right way.
0
0
1
0
0
0
We have an American Pope, and he looks like a reformer.

Don’t be surprised if people who walked away from the Church start taking a second look because of Pope Leo.
3
0
101
What's fascinating about this is that he's just saying standard Catholic things.

His reforms are more structural.
0
0
2
I haven’t been to Mass regularly since the 70s, but I really like this guy. Not enough to attend yet.

(Was a huge fan of Francis as well)
0
0
59
Walk softly and carry a big stick......
0
0
8
And here's what it looks like when they do it: www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuCAv2qz7Ek
0
0
1
"by David Brooks"
0
0
1
What, is there oil under the Vatican?
1
0
6
Don't think access to the Holy oil will cut the price of gasoline in USA.
0
0
1
Nothing about this Trump hell we are in is funny, but the Pentagon threatening the Pope made me laugh harder than I can remember. Pope Leo is so much smarter and more powerful and he's from Chicago and not to be messed with.
2
0
53
Leo grew up in the constantly changing mean streets of Cook County power politics and corruption. He will recognize and understand the difficulty in confronting corruption and authoritarianism in the Church, America, and the world… and he will be uniquely well prepared to meet those challenges.
0
0
0
I have gotten absolutely FAT in the past year from all the stress eating trump has caused me!!! Im blowing up like a balloon and now doorways are getting snug 😭🤣 #fucktrump #trump
0
0
2
Oh man, pitch perfect. I swear the Times headline writers are now checking your feed for ideas!
0
0
2
Delta Force better look out for those Swiss Guard guys in the colorful pantaloons when they copter in to snatch the Pope — they have halberds and they know how to use them!
2
0
8
Most of them are uber-sexy to boot! Further peril!
1
0
3
They also have assault rifles and know how to use them too.
1
0
3
We need Vatican City for strategic national security purposes…
0
0
1
Now an expert, read my upcoming book.
0
0
2
Like Leo and Francis, American Catholics
believe God loves all people equally—while
Catholic Americans believe God loves
people according to their wealth—as does
their Avignon pope Trump.
0
0
3
What?
0
0
0
They’d lose that one also.
0
0
0
I'm a lifetime evangelical fundamentalist who thinks the Roman Catholic Church is the Antichrist. Here's why I support this message.
2
0
3
Yes, I muted the response. You're just going to present logic fallacies to pretend there's proof of your magic old man. Not worth listening to your kind shovel your religion at others, hypocrite.
0
0
0
Because you're in a big cult. Go eat fake flesh and sip wine as blood to control you. The Abrahamic religions are made to control you morons. 😂😂😂

Evangelicals are the biggest joke of them all, next to Isreal. "Only the rich deserve to see the sky wizard." 😂😂😂
1
0
0
This is an an anonymous op ed by KD Lance.
0
0
3
Crazy criminals infiltrated and co-opted the Republican Party why not the Vatican?
0
0
1
Is it too late to volunteer to be the new pontiff? There hasn't been a laaady in the role for a few centuries.
0
0
4