I communicate perfectly... but for some reason NTs read a load into what I say and project all sorts of emotional shit onto it!

How is 'have you seen my purse?' an accusation of theft? I want to know if you've seen it. If I was accusing you I'd say 'have you stolen my purse?'
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‘Have you seen my purse, by any chance?’ does not come across as an accusation, so maybe it is the perceived bluntness which leads to you being misunderstood. Germans and Dutch are very direct : I wonder if autistic people are less misunderstood in those countries.
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