I love the Talmud

April 06, 2026 - 20:25 UTC

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this is extremely accurate.
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This is extremely INaccurate because why would a discussion about SUKKOT be in tractate KEDUSHIN instead of tractate SUKKOT
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Jews have a much cooler version of the Trolley Problem
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babylonians are super good at leyning when you consider they all have constant diarrhoea- taanit 9b
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Oh my God, don't show these guys the Zohar
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they'll all make like ben zoma and go insane
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Someone: “So the second plague is actually ‘Frog’ in the singular; what’s up with that?”
R. Akiva: “Maybe it was actually one really BIG frog—”
R. Elazar ben Azaria: “Akiva, you’re out of your element!”

-Sanhedrin 67b
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The author of the Talmud had ADHD
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-See, we had faith in you!
-You bastards!!
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The Talmud has ADHD energy.
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Its more AudHD. "There are extremely important rules and you absolutely must follow them and BIRD! BIRD BIRD BIRD!"
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Ha! I was about to say it has bipolar energy, but there's a lot of overlap between BP2 and ADHD, so...
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I was going to say 'and people say neurodivergence was invented in the 2000s'
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Funny you should mention it. There’s actually an article discussing this narrative from the perspective of ADHD:

thelehrhaus.com/scholarship/the-haunted-yeshivah-abaye-and-the-torah-of-adhd/
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YES
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It kinda sounds like 95% reading that cures the most severe insomnia interspersed with 5% hilarious and weird anecdotes which chronic stoners would particularly enjoy.
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Is this about Herschel or another guy
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"Woe unto the house through which the turnip passes" (b. Ber. 44b:10)
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@cmcaplanwrites.bsky.social way too familiar😂
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I hate it when this happens, way too many multi-headed demons at torah school
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"If a bird is within 50 feet of a coop, it probably belongs to the owner of that coop, so don't fuck with it. birds further out are probably wild birds, and thus open to be collected."
"what if a bird has one leg within range and one leg out?"
"what if you shut the fuck up?"
Bava Batra.23b7
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Actually got me to laugh out loud XD
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Beit Hillel say it depends on if Sukkot is already over, in which case it's probably okay about the doorway at least for this year but be more careful in the future.

Beit Shammai say you have to bring a sin offering to the Temple.

The rabbis are with Beit Hillel.
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my favorite is

Rabbi 1 : "G-d says this oven isn't kosher"
Rabbi 2 : "[citations needed]"
G-d : "its not kosher"
Rabbi 3 : "but we are not in heaven" (and so not his business)
All Rabbis - 3 : *nervous looking around ' this guy gonna get us killed '*
God : "oh shit u right. have fun"
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Reference for anyone who needs it:
Bava Metzia 59b
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I'm an Agnostic Gentie, but I've read Joyce (and quite a bit of literary Modernism in general), so I think I can maybe vibe with the meandering and layered text if I come across it one day.
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I’ve never read Joyce, but theres a club that reads Finnegan’s Wake regularly and discusses it:

www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/finnegans-wake-james-joyce-book-club-28-years-180983411/

It’s the only thing comparable to Daf Yomi, in which tens of thousands of Jews study a double-sided page of Talmud every day and finish it in over 7 years.
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"I know this is unorthodox"
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