LinkedIn is this guy.

April 09, 2026 - 11:48 UTC

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MySpace is Déagol.
Would probably have turned into (maybe a slightly less evil) Gollum himself, but was killed long ago, leading the way for Sméagol to become Gollum instead.
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☝️Genuinely, this is the reply-to-post-thread equivalent of when a prequel in a franchise has a different director than the original movies but somehow it is still brilliant.
👏Bravo!
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Perfect thread. 10/10. This made me belly laugh.
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OMG this is the perfect one 🤣😂
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I believe he's technically called The Anus of Sauron.
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LinkedIn is an Elf: draped in a pure, ethereal glow where every career is an epic poem.
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Nope. Elves can back their talk with actual skills and accomplishments. All the Mouth of Sauron can do is kiss his boss' ass while pretending his evil company is honest. That's LinkedIn.
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TikTok.

TikTok is Gollum. Highly performative. Deeply disturbing. Same person does both parts of the dialogue.
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Truth Social is Gollum.

Gets everything he wants. Still doesn't work out well.
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These comparisons all have a familiar ring…
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I use the format for jokes on this site, so I can't get too grouchy about it, but I will say that Bob Newhart perfected it decades ago, in part, by cutting it down to just one side of the absurd conversation.
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🤣
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@juliusgoat.bsky.social
Is the reaper of misery a LOTR character?
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