Oh no my favorite one here is that they spun up some bullshit about “oh no the eye of the needle is a name for a gate into Jerusalem and so it actually means *masturbatory noises*”

April 04, 2026 - 17:36 UTC

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Oh yeah I got that exact sermon during chapel one day and I can’t tell you how excited some of my classmates were to “learn” this (they were attended a private college paid for by their very rich parents)
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even in that made up story it was all "well it was a narrow gate so you had to unload the bags from the camel to get it through"

and i'm like "oh so like when jesus told that rich guy to give all his shit to the poor?" and they're like "no not like that at all"
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😂
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I started cackling the first time I heard that one in a church service
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