You gotta learn how to compartmentalise and dissociate and just sorta float above the things that are happening. If you're up there nothing touches you! You're getting it right when you feel sort of dizzy and distant the whole time.
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have you tried concentrating it all to a pinprick of rage you focus on a fixed point in space, and then turn away from it while knowing it keeps burning there?
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The issue is that I think I've been doing that so long that I have to bury the rage in a deep well of avoidance or I will actually explode
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