Melania: I never cut child in half with sword. I never do this.

The entire USA: what?

Melania: not me.

April 10, 2026 - 21:18 UTC

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Well played Bluesky
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#StreisandEffect
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To be clear, she's never been legal accused or criminally convicted of cutting a child in half with a sword.
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Melania beats Andrew in the PR stakes
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WE DO CARE DO U?
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lol also great replies to the post too
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@budgerigarbolger.bsky.social
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Ok, I actually LOL
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I didn't have Melania pulling a Drake on my 2026 bingo card.
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"I no hunt Moose and Squirrel. Totally not me."
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Arms get too tired. Too much sawing for Melania.
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After 30+ years in America, why does Melania still talk like a character from What We Do in the Shadows?
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This and other insights into her life and work can be had by watching her critically-acclaimed…
/s
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No books in the house, including dictionaries, abusive, controlling husband controls internet, including phone.Basically hostage situation.
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She 100% calls one of her male staffers Gizmo because she never learned his real name
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My grandmother lived in the USA for more than 75 years and still had her Irish accent.

Some people pick up accents super quick. Others just don't have an ear to develop a new accent.

(None of this is meant to "defend" her; she seems a horrible person. But her accent isn't what makes her horrible.)
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Why should she lose her accent, it’s one of the few things about her that is normal.
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my "i never cut a child in half" shirt etc
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Makes me wonder if that child was alive and screaming when Melania didn't cut her in half with a sword.
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“…and certainly not at the prices WE were quoted.”
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"Be best. Buy my NFT."
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I call it a Shane. Funny story.

In backyard drinking beer and throwing darts w buddy.
10 year old neighbor Shane’s head pops up over the fence.

“I didn’t pee on that dog!”

My buddy and me “What, Shane?”

“I didn’t pee on that dog!”
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Did laugh.
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I use table saw. Ha ha
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I am no longer able to parse if an absurd statement of this nature is a joke or not. And not just because I have been on bluesky for 3 years.

I also haven't been able to do so because I'm incredibly gullible.
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I'm sitting here wondering if I have to fact check. Kristi Noem's husband had off kilter balloon titties. Iran has a Lego Cinematic Universe based around Trump. Was there a credible allegation that Melania bisected a child? Maybe.
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ok ok ok .. if you only get 75% through the child.. i guess you can say you never cut one in half...
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I use electric saw and make sure that the carcass was total done like I learn on Gordon Ramsay show
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Melania: I also never sleep with that Daniels woman. I never bury wife on golf course. I never commit crimes on this list that include many dossiers that implicate my husband. I never use burner phones on other list like husband and I never send list of offshore accounts to JohnBarron@gmail.com.
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Melania: I never let you down. I never run around desert you. I never tell lie and hurt you. Except for zee one time.🤡
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Reek role
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I pray this doesn't become ironic.
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This is what happens when Donald and Jeffery both claim the baby is theirs.
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There is no big hole in forest where bones lay. This is lie. I do not pray there to moose god.
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I’m dying 😂
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bsky.app/profile/friend0w0.bsky.social/post/3mj3js7xafk2c
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Be Best!
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i've never been legally convinced of cutting a child in half
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😂
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Lol
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just tremendous
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😂
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😄😁😆😅
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That made me lol
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How about a scimitar?
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She only watched.
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Melania [on hot mic] Scimitar, not sword...stupid Americans
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Hilarious
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Sounds like Melania…..
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She’s giving head of it
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Chef’s kiss. No notes. Bravo!!
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Oh hi Mark
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I just got nauseous 🤢
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At least, not in half.
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Right. It's hard to determine the exact halfway point. So, if she chopped a child with a sword, say, in 45% / 55% proportions, then she would - in fact- have NOT cut the child in half. Details do matter !
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No? Your husband probably did though. Russian whore.
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Still low key surprised that a regime as anti-immigrant as this one has as its First Lady someone who sounds like Natasha from Rocky and Bullwinkle.
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Is it out of line to ask her to say “Moose and squirrel“
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Slavic immigrants tend to get a pass bc they're essentially Eastern whites. Also, wasn't she a "gift" from Putin? (Genuinely unsure)
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Natasha speaks better English.
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She can’t speak English.

But, apparently, she’s got a talented tongue.
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Ah you know how this works The more you draw attention to what you didn't do.....
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Nothing in the rule book says dogs can’t play basketball
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These lies are being pushed by people who are jealous of my collection of incredibly sharp swords.
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youtu.be/HP9Ge9MqTgE?si=w0zAr9t6gMOPrXrn
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i love tubbs
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Deep cut
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