RFK Jr. reading a Casper mattress ad on his podcast and it sounds like an Invisibl Skratch Piklz routine. During the part of it that the host is supposed to ad lib he says "these mattresses have ions."

April 09, 2026 - 17:40 UTC

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If Side 3 of Metal Machine Music could talk
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cures moosebumps
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the mattress is soft inside and out, and won't scra-sc-scr-scra-scr-sc-c-c-c-crreeeaaaaaa-[hard crossfade to 70s novelty song about popsicles]
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How about adding peptides and ferments to the mattresses?
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"People know I have a mattress collection [cough]. I've got storage units full of ones I've picked up over the years but Casper was the first mattress I've ever paid for. Well, the first new one. I recently acquired Lyndon LaRouche's death mattress. Folks, let me tell you, Casper is even better."
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in many ways you’re our finest poet
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In some other, more specific ways, however,
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I would risk a monkey's paw scenario to get him to do a BlueChew read
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“RFK Jr. reading a Casper mattress ad on his podcast “
I didn’t even look but said to myself “this sounds like Roth” (complimentary)
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*croaks*

“Me-undies”
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The Mangrate. 100 percent cast iron. Beef, chicken, roadkill, never tasted so good.
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The sewage-filled interior really molds to your body shape to reduce pressure points
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the word "meundies" recorded onto an Edison wax cylinder and played back through a mummy's throat
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my ears are bleeding just reading this
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“I-I-I caaaannnn aaaattest thaaat they repelllll seminal fluuuiid”
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[damp robot making an obscene phone call voice]

[ad-libbing during a Roman ad about the time he snorted a dozen crushed viagras out of an armadillo skull]

Priapism. Take it seriously, for the love of god.
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Costco has fantastic mattresses.
And their mattresses don't promote deadly childhood epidemics.
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Any DJ Qbert reference gets a thumbs up from me.
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Ryan Lizza hates this mattress, but you won't.
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get 50% off your next Squarespace web site purchase with promo code WHALEMEAT
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Does anyone think it is so weird that fabulously wealthy people are willing to debase themselves to read ads to make even more money? Their podcasts could be ad free, but every single thing has to make another buck. Same goes for Michelle Obama and her brother’s podcast where he reads endless ads.
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Defector should pay to have a BareBack Sportsbook ad read on his pod
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Wow, did Qbert hurt you??!! Why would you say that? :(
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Invisibl Skratch Piklz reference in the wild?!?
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In case anyone wondered where in my 40s I was.
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Few people know the refrain from Innerspace Dental Commander is just RFK Jr yawning
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*garbled grinding noise*

athletic greens ceo: fuck, he said the ad right? i think i heard it?
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