Mind if I smoke?

No. Mind if I fart?

[Steve Martin]
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“It’s one of my habits.
I quit once for a year, but I gained a lot of weight …”😂😂😂
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Peak logic: quit the habit, gain weight, so obviously the habit was the health plan. This is how personal weakness gets rebranded as wisdom—confident nonsense delivered like a life lesson.
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“It’s easy to quit smoking. I’ve done it hundreds of times.”

[W.C. Fields]
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