read the news today

March 20, 2026 - 14:27 UTC

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Fuuuuuck
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The Hulkster rose from the depths of hell to jump Chuck Norris?

What a timeline we live in.
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Damn this takes me back. I still have this entire song memorized
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I forgot Chuck Norris was a thing I dont even know why he was so famous.
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He starred in a popular TV show, "Walker, Texas Ranger" in the '90s

And then in the aughts it became a meme that he could beat anybody in a fight with a roundhouse kick (his signature move on the show)
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And on Mr. Rogers’ birthday
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OH MY GOD...
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What a way to find out. Lmao
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I feel old now
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One less toxic maga boomer
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Now we need to do the other massive piece of shit who is regularly in the news today.
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as foretold
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In accordance with the prophecy
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oomfie banger
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THE WAY I WAS SINGING ALONG TO IT AND THEN FOUND OUT HE'S ACTUALLY DEAD IS DIABOLICAL.
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IT WAS THE BLOODIEST BATTLE THAT THE WORLD EVER SAW, WITH CIVILIANS LOOKING ON IN TOTAL AWE
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oh boy
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TED Theodore Logan... you forgot the TED.
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It is highly illogical that you are unable to smell that which I am cooking.

- Spock the Rock
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www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4UYpDB7J-s
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Rest in piss asshole
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Pouring one out in The Barrens for him
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No way this is how I find out that he died...
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Oh boy
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Poor chunk norris, I'm going to miss that goofy guy
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Wait which power rangers are single?
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I love that this is how I found out.
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makes me feel old to recognize this song.
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I love this song it's on my Spotify playlist:3
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This is how I find out????
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One hell of a throwback, and also one hell of a way to find out, holy shit.
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THIS IS HOW I FOUND OUT
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LMAO
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This is how the news got broken to me
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The legend will always be better than the man that died at 86. Once Chuck left the limelight he devolved into a horrible person apparently.
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oh boy
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…….. We are so fucked
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Death thought it was safe, but Chuck Norris comes for us all ,😔
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Rest in peace legend 🙏✝️ 😇
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Captain what??
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Neil Cicierega is gonna wanna see this one...
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lol that’s fucking hilarious
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this is how i found out
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Dang me too, thought it was a reference to the video, not what happened today :c
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Yeah me too :(
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*seeing Lo-Pan in the list*
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Damn the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny in the big 2026
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AND IT'S MISTER ROGERS IN A BLOODSTAINED SWEATER WITH A STEEL CHAIR
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There we go
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