"Open the Strait of Hormuz. You may not receive the help of any other sovereign nation. Fastest wins."

March 16, 2026 - 15:15 UTC

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"Alex, do you count as a sovereign nation?"
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Bloody love Fern
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Pertinent af.
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Bob Mortimer would succeed at this one against all odds
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And then drive David Mitchell insane on would I lie to you whilst explaining how he did it with a pair of pliers he usually uses on his teeth.
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@techcubus.monster 🤣
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"Oh Nooooo."
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Fatiha calls up and tells them how stupid this whole thing is and she can't be bothered while also calling them bruv

They open the straight in an attempt to end the phone call
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Ok, but Team Javie Martzoukas will still do it faster.
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Judi Love spends 15 minutes trying to convince Greg the Strait is open when it clearly isn’t

“Yeah, see, there’s land over there and land over there and water in the middle so…it’s…open”

“My petrol prices disagree, nul point”
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Every vessel traversing the Strait shall be equipped with 72 virgins.
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I want to see Mantzoukas on that one.
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STOP! You're giving the current reality tv admin ideas that might accidentally work.
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"Well it doesn't say *I* have go open the Strait..."

*Forces Alex Horne to open the Strait
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"Your time started when you first met Jeffrey Epstein."
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Rhod would find another strait somewhere else in the world and rename it Hormuz. The task doesn't say WHICH strait of Hormuz they're supposed to open.
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Wrong Contestant.

BOSH!!!
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...Your time starts NOW.
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“Have you got any thermonuclear devices?”

[Alex thinks, he seems troubled.]

“Check the kitchen.”
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“If I use this, it that a war crime?”

“All the information you need is on the task.”
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You’re time starts…NOW
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👏🥂
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"...NOOO..."

says Fern
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Current state of American diplomacy shown in a gif.
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Rhod Gilbert would be a massive upgrade to what we have now
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They will be left with no choices but to do that win win win
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Why open it when you can just fly over?
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This thread brings me such joy ❤️
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Have I met these boats before?
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@seriousanddeep.bsky.social
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Alternatively
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Oh nooooooo
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Gianni is there to volunteer to help.

#FIFAgodfather
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"Wait. What? Wait what?"
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"Can I..."

[Interrupting] "All the information is in the task"
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What's worse is my brain initially parsed this as in front of 10 Downing St, and this was a spokesperson in a gopro helmet for Reasons™️.
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Hmmm, this seems related.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RZKGVpjuME
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Yeah he isn't cleaning up this mess anytime soon! Auto disqualification!
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“Are we allowed to use nukes to build a canal?”

“All of the information is on the task”
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🤣
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If noone goes, oil prices skyrocket. If everybody goes, Trump is vindicated and will start another war.
Prisoner's dilemma is getting harder !
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Say the last line.
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[camera pans to a button underneath the table labeled “open strait of hormuz”]
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Trump administration: "How am I supposed to do that. Can I just bomb more stuff"

All the information is on the task.
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"Please read the last line."
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Thank you for correctly identifying that Fern would be the best contestant to assign this task to
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at first I thought this was an automatic gavel helmet 🧑‍⚖️
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Check under the table!
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UK security adviser attended US-Iran talks and judged deal was within reach
www.theguardian.com/world/2026/mar/17/uk-security-adviser-attended-us-iran-talks-and-judged-deal-was-within-reach?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other
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this the 2nd Fern post on my feed this morning, day immediately off to a good start
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I also happened to listen to her Off Menu from a few weeks ago today (I’m really behind) and then this was the first post I saw. Maybe the universe is about to reward her.
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"If I consider the sovereign nations my vassals can I receive their help?"

"All the information is on the task."

"Can I just say its open then?"

"All the information is on the task."

"Okay then...its open? Am I done?"

"Are you saying its open?"

"Y-yes."

"Ive stopped the clock."
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Later:

Greg: "Would you say that that canal is open?"
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She looks like a Pikmin 😭
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'I'm going to dump the oil in the strait so it'll float downstream'
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"Can I get on the roof?"
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Ok but, be fair.

This might be one of the most effective ways to develop innovative policies. Throw comedians at it.
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Case in point: Ukrainian president Zelenskyy.
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John Kearns looking like he's completely shitting the bed for the entirety of the challenge but still somehow emerging with an agreement
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Lisa Tarbuck could do it.
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But she will choose not to.
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British comedians would absolutely do a better job than this kakistocracy regime we have
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Whuh??
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"Am I the Strait of Hormuz?"
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Why are using a pic of Fern Brady? What about Jason Manzoukis?
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Fern could do it!
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and in a totally surprising manner as well
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Alex may be killed in the process, but Fern will get results
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Have I met these oil barrels before...?
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Jokes on you, time hasn‘t started yet
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fern could pull it off if she wasn't so tired
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Mike Wozniak giving himself a hernia while spending three hours trying to do it through sheer force of will.
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"Tick-tock it's Strait of Hormuz o'clock!"
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Tick tock, it's strait open o'clock
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"Oh NOOOOOOOO"
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"Have I met these potatoes before?"
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I can already hear Fern responding with "But whyyyy??? I didnt close it. I just want to lie down"
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"Ohch nooooo!"
"Ohch nooooooooooo!"
"Ohch noooo!"
"Ohch noo. . ."
"Ohch nooooooooo!"
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