Godzilla is attacking London and you must summon a British kaiju to defeat them. Who are you choosing?

March 21, 2026 - 07:29 UTC

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Spiny Norman for the win.
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Kitten every time
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Sounds like a job for Danger Mouse. πŸ˜‹
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Giga blobby would fall over every tall building between Reading and Whitechapel before he even got into the fight at least Orinoccozilla would tidy upafter himself. Sadly megaBungle would be too anxious to take on a kaiju unless the RodJaneandFreddiezord was also summoned.
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La La Teletubby.
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Blobby would win but the collateral damage from all the tripping over and flailing would make it utter Pyrrhic.
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Against β€œWicker Man” Bungle?

No chance
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He’s very much the nuclear option.
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Penfold.
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Paddington
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Blobby, he's a right tw*t
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At least your spuds would be secured
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Cyberking off Doctor Who
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Blobby. Blobby destroys everything he touches. He's already destroyed the pop charts AND themeparks.
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The problem is, once you unleash Blobby, how do you stop him again
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Blobby would drive Godzilla off by annoying the fuck out of it.
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Has to be Blobby - he always causes maximum damage. Orinoco would tidy up
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Has to be the cat from The Goodies!
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The Womble, obviously. He'd wipe the floor with him.
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Nah, let Godzilla do their thing to London.
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Blobby.
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Orinoco might be lazy and lackadaisical, but he's brave and got a good heart. Definite underdog - err, I mean, 'underwomble', but G-Unit will end up admiring him at the end.
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Could we trust him?
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I'm going to say ... no.
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He'd only be acting in his own self-interest, wouldn't get distracted and the plans would be supremely well executed and there'd be booby traps. I could cope.
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Late contender
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If feathers McGraw is that big then Wallace and gromit would be piloting a Jaeger with full drift compatibility.
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I think Blobby would wrestle Godzilla to the ground and roll around devastating London himself in something akin to how back burning stops forest fires.
Then wave and blow kisses at Godzilla as he wades back into the Thames Estuary.
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Nice.
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Blobby. None shall stand against the might of Blobby.
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Oh globbits!
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Mr Blobby would flatten too much.

Also, Edmonds would probably want paying.
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No Danger Mouse?
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All of these would be catastrophic or ineffectual. Blobby is a bigger risk than Godzilla, Orinoco wouldn’t fight, he’d just clean up behind Godzilla. Bungle is too goody goody and would just grass Godzilla up to Jeffrey and the kitten has one brain cell. I vote for Superdog!
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Could team up with banana man.
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Blobby will stop Godzilla but he'd flatten the place. Original Bungle would scare it off enough to get a better early warning Godzilla defence system.
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Gorillaz (they come as a set).
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Sweep!
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Mr. Blobby. The hero we deserve.

Although his chaotic nature means risk of collateral damage would be high...
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Blobby, no question
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The original Bungle was scary af lol
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Orinoco, cos he'd tidy up after.
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Nah, he'd just have 40 winks while the city was annihilated around him.
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So, on the neutral / evil / good axis, send in Blobby first , then orinoco to do the clean up duty? right?
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Kitten Kong all day
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I feel like Kitten Kong has already proved itself in the London arena.
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CLUNES.
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Kitten Kong always and forever. The only one with form.
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Kitten Kong

None of the others are real
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youtu.be/fHxwVN_24TE
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Yes!
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Kitten Kong is my choice.
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Kitten Kong.
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Godzilla’s stepping up to the oche with a chance to bet it all on a speedboat
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The Chewits Muncher monster
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Didn't that have a game that was pretty much Godzilla?
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Oh god Bungle has seen some shit
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There ought to be a MegaPaddington hidden somewhere.
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OG Bungle.
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IYKYK
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Bungle actually did work in the shop at St Paul's in his later days.
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Not this iteration, but Malcolm Lord.
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Definitely Kitten Kong.
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Small but deadly
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Send in Professor Yaffle
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white cat, obvi
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Spiny Norman
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Exactly my first thought
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DINSDALE
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Gorgo’s mum
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Just blow your thistle whistle and summon The Family Ness!
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Definitely original Bungle - what a terrifying moth eaten old thing it is!!
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The Bear of Death
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If he can take down Chuck Norris, who could stand in his way?
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"But I didn't even have the Salmon Mousse!"
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The smart move would be George from Rainbow. No-one would want to harm that poor wee delicate soul.
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Get these two into a pacific rim style giant robot I reckon
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"You! shut up!"
*turns back around*
"You! What do you mean Normal Men"
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Ook!
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youtu.be/sryL1IP8ohQ?is=FFv1z4MoTkLSuAeb
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I summon forth the Great British Spider Kaiju that's the size of Europe.
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Any one of these three would suffice. Probably pickled onion.
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Deffo pickled onion.
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The Giant Robot from the Tom Baker Doctor Who story "Robot".

If he isn't available, the Chewits monster.
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The Womble, it’s soft body can absorb any blow and with its burrow scurrying speed avoid the fire breath of Gojira. Also it will clean up afterwards. 😎
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