Delighted to report that I have successfully deployed Fish In The Car against chuggers in Dorchester town centre.
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Poor old Chuggers, first a naked jungle and now this. Nobody tell him he’s dead.
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I'll always remember him from such things as Chuggers Plays Pop and one episode of Swap Shop, which due to technical difficulties, the OB section came live from the shopping precinct in Aintree...
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Recently I was confronted on the street by a rude aggressive man who wanted to beat me just cos I happened to be there. “The fence outside my house is only two feet high,” says I. He looks at me funny but continues threatening me. “Fences in Spain tend to be six feet high.” He continues going on…
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… but he’s looking confused. Eventually he says, “What was that allegory you said about fences?” “It wasn’t an allegory. It was an observation.” “So?” “So, it’s interesting that my fence is two feet high and Spanish ones tend to be six feet.” Situation diffused and we both go our separate ways.
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And its close relative, “can’t talk, carp in the bath”
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I once shut down a chugger who was cajoling me about a children’s charity by saying “but I hate children.” (It’s not generally true, I only hate some children, but it did seem to cause some sort of mental short circuit in him, which allowed me an exit) It was effective, but did seem almost violent.
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The universe is now in balance after I managed to also smash my face in with a water bottle. I am an idiot.
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Thoughts and prayers. Amen.
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What…how on earth?
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I am now determined to try this.
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For all the low grade ill-feeling that chuggers create, I think they should all be arrested under The Terrorism Act.
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I had a female friend at uni who’d freak out when a guy showed interest in her. Saw her run away by saying she’d left her cat in the oven, had to collect her grandmother’s hair from the supermarket- she didn’t mean to be so wild, she was just a bit shy with weird neurotic responses.
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Marvellous! 🤣
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The ubiquitous lead singer from Marillion?
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Fish in the Car, reminds me of a Tom Cruise Story I once heard......
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